A BINGO railway ride!

On an old train, we choo-choo on the railway towards north for x'mas... its getting colder by degree as the sky was getting dark and gloomy; everyone was busy settling down, and snacking to keep warm.
A woman with a young boy arrived later and sat opposite us, sharing the same table. Not being well equipped in foreign tongue, i decided to keep quiet--- and started playing BINGO with my friend.

The little boy was curious and peeped in a while, and overheard his conversation to his mum. Though i did not understand most his words, till i heard him whispered, " Its BINGO". I looked at him and asked if he knows the games in very simple English; a sweet smile with a keened face, i showed him my game paper.

With a set of pen and paper, we played trio-BINGO! And so, we started chatted with his mum, a Polish. She offered to help in translating our orders for drinks; and about how she celebrated X'mas in Polish tradition--
(That during X'mas eve, a family starts eating only when they see the first star in the sky!)

It was a memorable and nice railway trip; though we speak different languages, we managed to chat for hours till we reached our destination! That makes the whole conversation really interesting:)

As my teacher once said, " When the meaning is caught, the words disappear..."

Where to practice in Vienna?

Ah! Today was a great day to start off with--- yoga practice! We hit the morning freeze before 6am to the station and stepped towards a yoga studio--- YogaWerkStatt. Opening a huge metal door, walking through a garage area; there stood a box-like studio in white.

I could already hear the ujjayi breaths behind the door, which sort of excite me a little.
 Finally, i got my muscles and joints heat up, as the sweats started welling from my pores and dripping. That my cells are activated and the energy started circulating again, woosh! Revive and alive; and oh! i can see the sun over my head:)

I seriously reckon that too much travelling in the cold is pulling my body condition down. I find myself either sitting too much ( on trains) or walking too much. My toes are like 'ice-pops', my shoulders are duper tensed from carrying the weighty sack.
Though i strapped a yoga mat with my travel, don't we like surprises when the room space is just enough to sleep?

Coldness makes us slough and hunch, very much. That i instantly crouch inwards every time the cold wind blow by, as i am shutting my heart center. I could slowly feel the dullness crawling in, just like the weather--- dark clouds.

I mean of course, the fun from the travel still occupies most of my attention:)

If you're in Vienna, do not miss a chance to check out this space: http://www.yogawerkstatt.at/
Give them a call, a friendly voice on the other end is more than willing to clear any doubts. Their Ashtanga Vinyasa- mysore style starts as early from 6.30am; the teacher will start coming in for adjustment at 7am.

The body. Our holy home.

As these words run along: Our body is like a temple. Keep it clean for the soul to reside...

These days have been amazing, stepping into churches to cathedrals and to domes. On one random day, it was pouring, even a breeze could nearly freeze my finger tips. Quickened my steps and entered into a cathedral; A surge of warmth 'hugged' me ( yes, literally too), and it was nice. I sort of find this feeling familiar.

I sat down, and stared in blank at a huge drawing in front of my eyes. Everything slowed down, my mind slowed down its streaming, thoughts settled down a little, my breathing was extended as the warm air blowing against my upper lip. I stopped blinking, any movement was ceased.

Something sat down inside, rested. And this particular feeling, i'd experienced it in Savasana
( Corpse pose: a relaxation pose assume at the end of a yoga practice). I could feel my body warming up, just like a flame from within rekindled and warming up every corner of coldness in my muscles.
Like a child resting in the arms of a mother, simply comfortable!

Our body represent the holy place ( temple, church, cathedral, mosque..); we want to keep not only the body, also our mind clean for our soul to reside, rest and heal.
A home, where we can return at the end of the day.  

Unknown

They say:

The mind, is us not;

The body, is us not;

Those thoughts, are us not;

Those emotions, are us not;

These senses, are us not;

These feelings, are us not;

Then, i ask:

Who are we?

What are we?

One last trip to Grow & Glow!

2011 has been very colorful to me, one of the years with lots of travelings. I kicked start the year with an inspirational trip to Nepal; and a string of yoga- related travels, eye-opening yoga conference in Hong Kong and our first attempt ( with Satya Yoga) for a yoga retreat to Angkor Wat; and some unexpected personal trips followed on.

This year is indeed a year of lessons, be it in work or personal; some lessons appeared to be so urgent that it kept chasing after me till i actually take some time to absorb them. Some lessons are stalling time, needing my patience to step till the right time strikes.
As each month was passing by, its almost like am sitting on a roller- coaster ride. So many events were happening, too fast; i feel my physical, mental, and emotional zooming up & down; it can be quite energy draining. Also to understand that none of these belongs to me, those were surge of experiences.

I've been reading a lot of articles, chapters, podcast by great teachers to at least be spiritually sane; as much as not to got lost in the world of maya within myself. I'm glad to be able to squeeze out my morning time towards the last quarter of the year, to visit my teacher in his classes.

It's time to take some time off for a little space for a breather. I'm off for a closure trip for the year; to a space to grow and glow:)

Thanks Shirly for taking over my workload:) I'll be back to take over with 100 Plus charged!

Gazing beyond boundaries. Moving beyond fears.

I like gazing at the big night sky, dotted with twinkling spots in random. Whenever i get a chance to just get my head lifted up, i felt the whole world had sort of transform into something else--- like i am in another space.

Suddenly, a surge of fear injected into me; that i shrink into mini-size in just a snap.

No doubt the sky is beautiful; the magnificence can be quite intimidating. A line of question always come hitting in my head, " Who am i now?". The fear, makes my want to cry. A fear of insecurity, because i can see not boundary in that dark, dark sky; as if i will be swallow by some kind of energy anytime. 

We all like to do things and live with limit, limiting and setting a certain boundaries and rules for ourselves. Because, by setting these limits, we feel secure and safe.

We see the end before we even start, we know how much we're going to fall even before the falling happens. Though playing games within the limits provides us a sense of securities, it can be very suffocating too.

Though looking at the dusky night sky does make me feel uncomfortable; but i still like to stare at it blankly. While i allow the darkness to engulf my world, understand that no matter how frightening; i am still part of the universe. 

That neither our mind nor our thought is us;
neither our body nor our emotion belong to us too.
There are like stars, that burns inside us by moments; sometimes so brightly that we lost our self even. 

That though seeing no boundaries and setting no limit may send us a huge surge of fear, we learn how to let our hands off and allow the nature to take it course--- accepting whatever comes to us. 

Because we want to see beyond the limits, we live in moments of taking our breaths away.

i still shudder a little when gazing up; but i still do it. This quiver actually inspires me--- that there are things more important than fear. 

   

Yoga teaching, was not my dream; But something i want to do.

I've came across or read about how yoga teachers came into this practice due to some form of injuries;
and eventually teach when they got recovered through yoga practices.

Be it physical, mental or emotion--- there's a part of the self who's in search of some kind of healing--- which later to realized that popping pills is not the best way; ignoring the injuries does not help either.

I was just sharing with a friend today the exact moment when i know that  yoga is something i want to invite to my life and sharing it to the community through teaching.
It was my first yoga class, after the point when the yoga teacher made an adjustment to the Shoulder Stand i was in. There was this fleeting joy i felt, and this feeling stays in my memory till today.

I probably enter into this path not due to any physical injuries, but an emptiness--- where i was searching for something to fill the hole ( my teacher would call this as " confused soul").
That special comfort moment i felt in that yoga class---i would like to call this feeling " home". You know, like going back home after a hard day work, being yourself comfortably. 

But this little home is not created for and by anyone ( not your parents, not the bricks and roof top), its a little cozy place that you can reside to heal and grow. A silent peace and joy.

Because i wanted to find out more what this exactly was, that i kept going to yoga classes and eventually teaching.

It was not my dream to become a yoga teacher ( seriously i did not even know that i'll become one)--- my teacher, master paalu was the first person who opened the door of possibilities to me.

However somehow, i was answered without even realizing the question I've been always asking myself about life all the while. 

Someone who practice yoga, does not mean it'll or must lead to becoming a teacher. Practicing yoga is about self- management so that we can keep our life and work operating smoothly.

The path less traveled, is not too easy.

Once a friend said that it is always too challenging to take the path less traveled; because its almost an opposing direction we're moving against.
The initial idea to opt for choices less chosen is surely very much excited; but one may eventually feel too drained out moving against old habits and temptation; or even constantly having to cool the opposition down.
Many slowly choose to drop out of being " different" and join the rest in the mass traffic flow.

Sometimes, there's this strong belief we can see, that others can't. There's no way we can even describe or explain this vision to others.
There are times when others try to talk you out that our beliefs are pure fallacies. If they succeed to talk you out, they would feel more justified by their practice is "right". Otherwise, your strong beliefs will make them insecure about themselves.

My mum has never belief that vegetarianism can give us enough energy to operate our daily tasks. I still remember that i was so nervous to tell her that my decision of cutting away meat from my meals. Her exclamation of protesting to prepare my meal, happened for a few weeks.

When i was learning to prepare my own meal, my mum would peep to see how's like. Soon, she took over the task, and supported cutting down animals on the plate for health reasons.

Holding different way of thoughts will also lead to strong reactions from all around. So, how strong the fire inside us to keep our vision burning brightly? Strength, dedication and determination ( as quoted by Kino Macgregor)

I like to use the example of snapping of a rubber band. There are many moments, that just a little more effort against the resistance, the rubber band would snap, and it freedom! But too many time, we can tired just at that last step and bounced back speedily to the original form.

We have a choice to belief in what we want, or to ask ourselves to believe in that poplar "logic". Its not an easy task--- to care about what we think about ourselves than to care about what others think about us.

Want the truth... no cheating first!

Whenever we meet the practice of asteya or non-stealing, commonly taking it literally as not to rob or trying to own what does not belong to us.

My teacher, master paalu once pointed a different angle on this principal, and its relationship asteya can build a bridge towards the ultimate truth within us.
He says, " No cheating. Don't cheat others, don't even try to cheat yourselves."

This may sound a little harsh initially, but the bluntness present its clarity. Many people, you and i even, tries and is cheating ourselves every day. And we send ourselves to sleep with a closing thought: Everything's OK
.
There are things that i secretly know that is not going at the right way, but because i insistently wanting them to happen, so i keep telling myself " Its OK". The the mind pushes my boundaries of accepting more things that i do not really want to face, but i still tell myself " I'll be OK."

I stepped onto my yoga mat, during the practice; i kept having those thoughts running in my head.
Every time when i say " Its ok"--- there's an inner voice replied " No its not." 
" Its going to be just fine"
" No, its not. Adeline you know it. You felt that crunch in your stomach !"
" I know i'm ok, if i just have to keep doing it"
" Come on! Stop lying."

Only at the time when i broke my practice halfway,
when i had a suddenly lost of urge to continue-- i admitted that things were not going right for me.

Yes, of course, i can choose to ignore and follow through my plan But deep down inside i know i would not be happy for long, and this will affect the others too. The self- cheating comes forth when we direct our energy away from our focus, by doing what we don't actually want. And drifting further and further away from the little chest-box in our heart center.

There're path and life map and plans already for ourselves. The suggestion from the outside ( be it family, relatives or friends) at many times can be a huge distraction; that we eventually taking time to fulfill their life plan instead of ours.

Master Paalu says, " To practice Satya, practice Asteya first. Only when we stop cheating ourselves to please others, the truth will come."

Ujjayi moments of Self- practice

Of all yoga practices, self-practice presents itself as the most challenging practice of all. My teacher, Master Paalu once said, " We are not talking about how much we can do, we're talking about sustainability."

For many, even myself, started self- practice with full of enthusiasm, balls of fires rolling, woke up even before the alarm ticks... and this probably last for about couple of months...only.

Boredom arises, snooze for a few minutes more after the alarm went off, washes up with closed eyes, drags myself to the mat, cursing and swearing for the stiff- stick body. Sometimes, even a little nap in sweats. Many teachers and practitioners eventually gave up the idea of doing self-practice, because it turn out to be too much of a torment. 

Self- practicing is like a farmer taking care of his crops. Everyday, he waters,  he fertilizes, he weeds, he sows... and he'll let them grow. However dry private practices it may be, i cannot deny the fact that i still enjoy moment every time. 

There were poses that was once " impossible" were made " possible" in unexpected moments during self- practices. When the left hands grabs on the right in Marichi D; when yoga shows that my chunky thighs is possible for Kumasana... a let out a whisper of victory " yes, i got it!". 

Its not about how many poses i can achieve that marks my satisfaction of the practices; rather i understand and able to self- check that the system and methodology of practice is suitable for me to keep going. The whole idea of self-practice is to be able to learn independently without the presence of external teacher. 

Many people practice for their teachers, or to please the teachers. Eventually their practice ceases when the teacher is not around anymore. There's sentence i read somewhere in a magazine: You just need to know how's your practice, and you'll know how's your life been treating you.

Practice.. practice... practice... and all is coming.

~ Sri K Patthabi Jois

Life Adjustments

There are time when yoga teacher steps onto our mat, stand close by us, adjust the posture and leave us on our own.
Some teachers come forth with a strong grip, and release till the student is ready to hold the pose independently. Some with a rough touch, and leave abruptly which may even cause a fall. Some are just like passers-by, walk pass us with a light touch.

Living out of the mat, people walk into our life to make some adjustment to us, and leave. It may be friends, families, gurus or soul mates. Eventually, the time when we allow them to enter out circle, there will be a time when they will have to leave the circle when the necessary adjustments has happen.

I'd once got an adjustment from a teacher, which made me really uncomfortable. I was lifted off from the mat, and the teacher released me suddenly--- i almost bang my face into the wall. Whether the adjustment was beneficial, a lesson learnt; a note for myself that i would not do this to others.

In life, we do meet people who adjust us to be more align; there are ones who give us misalignment. In one way or another, they will take their leave and its for us to stand alone. We either manage to stand firm before their departure--- we proceed on. Or tumble down to a fall--- we learn the harder way of picking up and get back to work.

Practice discrimination. Discriminate your practice.

It is so interesting, one hand there are students who push their way through for a hard core practice; on the other hand there are those who move reluctantly. The fine line that cuts between his two is " practice with wisdom".

A lady was telling me about her herniated disc problem that the doctor advice to practice the back- bends, but to avoid the forward- bends. She came up asking for a second opinion what should be done. I supported the idea on using the muscles around the spine all around: forward, back and twist. To do it with care, she probably can be gentler on flexing her spine forward.

" That's the problem! I can't get myself to back off a little. If i bend forward, i like to max it out." 

Engaging in a yoga practice comes forth for an initial thought of relieving the discomforts in our body. But many time as our practice slowly develops, our focus shifted in feeding what our ego ( mind) wants it to be--- and stop serving the body. 

When this happens, we are doing more harm than good to ourselves; and this is not Yoga practice anymore.

I've heard many people got themselves injured everywhere after yoga classes. Later to know that, they are treating their old injuries harshly with multiple falling from handstands and the advance poses--- and inviting new injuries. 

Viveka or discrimination. Practice with discrimination. For a body with injuries, choose the suitable practice for recovery and healing; instead of beating hard on the wounds. Know the limit of the body by practicing wisdom, and discriminate the mind (ego) for hindering the process.

   

So what if we can finally kick up to a handstand steadily, coming down with another injuries to attend to?

Once, Master Paalu mentioned that one can never get enlightened in an extreme condition.
In relation to being "enlightened", it is not referring to follow a path of becoming a sage or a saint; rather in a human way in this society. Beyond physical and sense stimulation level of activities.

Being able to be born as a human being, we have ample chance to live beyond a life of animals. There are more than just survival needs, more than just pure animal instinct, in the way we operate our life. But our mind, often terrorist our humanity, and we, actually allowing it to take over this operations.

Each of us has a thought to bear a fruit of our dreams; but the seed seldom bears any fruit. Because we like to put ourselves in extreme ( sense stimulating) conditions. We want to lead a life of a roller- coaster, that our energy level fluctuate like stock market. How can this seed even root properly for further growth?

It is just like a child, who keep running about the classroom. When will he be able to finish his homework, when his focus is scattered? Only when he stops, going everywhere... then he can get his work done.

Being in extreme weather ( too cold or too hot) causes illness to the body.
Being in extreme activities ( intense stress or laziness) causes illness to the mental.
Being in extreme emotional hypes ( intense love or hate) causes illness to the soul.
If one keep moving from one end to another end, no fruitful work will happen.

Its always a debate over the intellectual ( mind) and intelligence ( intuition).
When the intellect can analyse the known, while the intelligence can reveals the unknown.
Where the mind moves to the extreme points, the intelligence in equilibrium flow.

With the mind, we gain book knowledge. It tells us the step-by-step of growing a tree, and getting the fruits.

Withe intuition, we again wisdom. It teaches us how to grow a tree that can bears sweet fruits.

Leave to Grow

" Why do yoga teachers always go off traveling?", a person replied my mail when i noted him about my travel dates.

Traveling keeps me off the work area, while expanding the space for myself to grow. At the same time, the students are also given a space to grow independently without the teacher. While its time to pack up, its an invitation of another stage of learning for me. 

Leaving a place for a while, enables me to break away from the routine that is coming to stagnation. Disconnecting with the people for a while, enables me to connect with them better. Sometimes we have to leave things behind, till we are mature enough handle them. 

Its a practice of detachment for not hogging on my regulars students. That they do have the freedom to be in touch with other greats teachers out there. 

Its a practice of self- patient, that it takes time for each of us to grow and bloom. 

Be happy if your yoga teacher is breaking away from your usual schedule, its a time to start building up your self- practice routine. Any teacher will be happy if their student are getting into some self- practice in their own time.

The mind suggested otherwise

When it comes to making life decisions, there's always a battle between the mind and the self going on. Should i do this, or should i have done that. There was a point when a decision was made upon the self, and after the mind would keep on knocking and suggested something else---- that as if i should really have taken the other.

And if in anytime i attempt to entertain those thoughts, the mind would throw in many more suggestions, and following satisfactions i may get for listening to it ( mind). As i observed myself getting restless and distracted, for i gave a second thought: Hmm... maybe i made a bad choice. 

But when i cooled down and asked my self, " Should i not be here, and be there?"

If given a second chance to choose, would my decision be any different? 

Nope, nothing will change. 

Often, the mind may present to us a great fantasy of instant satisfactions that make it so easily for us to grab. After all, it'll only throw us back to reality. Where our heart stays grounded in silence, that there are so much more then those clutters. 

Some decisions we made may appear to be putting us in agony now--- if sticking to the same plan when a second chance is given--- no point entertaining the mind anymore.  

Good Diwali to all!

Diwali, the Festival of Light. 

Put a small note for us to recognize that the little flame seated in our heart center, 

is the light of wisdom that guides us upon our life journey---

from untruth to truth,

from darkness to light,

from death to immortality.

However any darkness may engulf us for a while, if we allow the light to take the lead, 

the darkness will soon pass behind us.

Love the darkness.

Without darkness, we will not be able to acknowledge the presence of light. 

Because of darkness, there's a place for the light to penetrate. 

Because of light, there's a place for darkness to enter.

Where the eyes cast upon the shadow of darkness,

the heart shines a stream of light to our world.

Let us not only celebrate Diwali today, but for the rest of our days ahead.

Happy Diwali Folks!

What's that bad smell?!

Have you ever encounter situation when you can't really dare to breathe freely in a big group of class?

That every breathe taken is probably going to trigger a swirl in the stomach... or to vomit a tornado in the middle of the yoga practice.

Because the smell of the body odor from nearby is diffusing rapidly when the practice gets more vigorous; or the aromatherapy of " hongkong feet" is happening in the studio--- every intention to breath is a struggle, in-breath is choking and disturbing. Instead of focusing my own practice, unknowingly i started my investigation.

Thankfully, yoga postures enable me to access a good view of 360 degree surveillance. Downward facing dog is the best, i got good ample time to browse through the possibilities behind me. Triangle pose to target those on my left and right. 

But, what could be worst when it comes from the teacher? Imagine this: The teacher came towards me, wrapped his/her arms around my waist, exposing the underarms, and instructed me " inhale deeply" before doing the adjustment. 

Yup, this may sound really embarrassing. But its true. 

Wash up is the start of any practice.

Cleanliness is a self- observance that anyone can practice. Whether if you're a student or a yoga teacher, everyone enters the yoga studio wanting sometime for themselves for a practice. 

Before stepping onto the mat, take a warm shower to wash off the dirt, sweat, dust on the skin; flush away the stress, tension, anxieties. 

Keeping ourselves clean is a respect to the teacher, to the people around, to oursleves and to the practice itself. 

Life Encyclopedia

Others once asked what's about yoga that seems so mystical, that make us keep wanting to practice them.
I thought too, why keep going back to the mat?

Because it never fail to make me feel so comfortable. With the deepest, craziest question we can ask about life, by practicing yoga, it can reply us with an answer---- answer that leads to no more question.
It does not have to make us satisfied or happy, yoga gives us what as it is, organically.

The society has been developing so fast that it pulls people away from truth to delusion. The flowery material world may seems to a better place to fall on than the intangible spiritual world. Yet no matter how flourish our society has evolve, this centuries year-old practice is still here, offers paths to home.

The Pandora Box revealed...

 “Shirly once told me that Curiosity killed the cat. You know, sometimes I just can't help it.”

For so many months, every time when the cab drives through Cairnhill and passing by Emerald hill; the group of old houses never fails to catch my attention. I would fix my gazed till the very last glimpse of the exterior of the last house. 

Walls are stained, the pastel colors on those cylindrical window grills are peeling off. Sometimes, I even managed to peep into the blurry glass window--- an old ceiling fan.

Each time, I wondered, “who’s staying inside? How does the interior look like? What is inside? What are the stories behind all these units? …they look kind of cozy. 

Maybe one day I would want to stay here, I chuckled. ”

And you know what?!

After a hasty conversation over a phone, a lady booked an appointment with me. And today, the cab did not drive pass, but dropped me by my eye-candy.  The door front was quite unwelcoming--- huge closed dark-brown door, curtain drawn, the only décor is probably the pathetic little doorbell button.

The neighboring units are in traditional Peranakan , and olden Chinese ( red lanterns) style.  The door must be quite heavy I noticed when my client pull the door opened. 

However uninviting the exterior may appear to be, the interior is filled with warmth. Though it’s really spacious and with little furniture, it has got great vibes with a pure sense of tranquility basing in the house.  Yup, I had a delicious time satisfying my long-time hunger of curiosity.

I like old houses and shop houses--- that withstand through the toughness of time and activities. I said these are houses with characters. That they have got sheaths of history that shines with charisma in their own little way.

" Satisfaction brought it back"

The arrow, the bow and the Bull's eye

" All of us here in this room, has a pair of bow and arrow. Go search for them and target the bull's eye",  this was the sentence of mission master Paalu gave out in the last lesson. And off we go, out there to start our teaching journey.

Out there, i wrote a post-it in my head, held on to that sentence, in search of my pair of bow and arrow, working on my accuracy on targeting the bull's eye. I took it as some kind of mission that keep me on track. That it keep me going forward without turning back.

In the matter of fact, there are some horrible days when i met some horrible people; and whenever i felt a surge of tiredness of all those "battles"--- i held the " bow & arrow" tightly. 

Not long ago, i heard it the second time when he mentioned to the group of teacher- to be. It instantly brought me back to the time when i was sitting in the class, fearful of stepping out to teach. " Wow", i thought silently.

Dream destroyers out there, dissolving dreams are hard work, but its surely worth the sweat. Because the decision to stop dreaming and bring them to life is not easy, yet its not difficult too. It is not in the doing that we've become, but what have we become from the deeds. 

Go get your bow & arrow, hit the bull's eye!

I feel good!

Today i just feel good! Right at the time i blinked my eyes open for my first class. With no particular reason for soaking my enjoyment in the things i am doing.

Sunday morning road is the best, mind was blank as the cab cruised it way down to town. From frowns to smiles, chit-chatting with the clients after classes. Laughing at the sausage dog down the street, it was just too cute. Watching a baby playing happily with herself, touched  few cats hoping to my side, goodbye to the morning with a group of mums- to- be.
Followed by a good afternoon call, in addition to a power nap!

Read a notice from my teacher that fellow yoga mates are stepping ahead into realizing their dreams--- opening their yoga studio at various corner of the world. Great news.... its a birth!
Its almost like we're doing the same things, but in different location, spreading the seeds of yoga.

Its time to get get down to the farm, isn't it?!

Intense practice with dispassion

Sometimes we do wonder, why some people can be so successful in their own way? And we do look up to them with admiration.
With these two qualities they carry with them all the while: Abhyasa ( Intense practice) & Viragya ( Dispassion).

Abhyasa or Intense Practice...
There are people who want to get involve in many many things, hope to broaden their opportunity of success. There are people who just specialize in an area, and work to be the best in that skill.

With Abhyasa, one work with full focus, undistributed & undisturbed mind, regardless of external environment, the intensity of inner practice is still firm. Unwavering trust of oneself, not bothered by criticizer's expectations.This involves strong self- discipline, not giving in to temptations for short happiness--- because one knows that there's a prolonged joy awaiting.

With this, Viragya or Dispassion has to be around...
There are people work towards an expectation and results. Therefore, having excitement and disappointment.
There are people who work in perfecting the present moment, without grabbing onto the end result. Therefore, having joy in all that the work provides.

If in doing something comes with a certain expectation or intention, the result of the work will surely affect us. The quality of the work will then be dependent on the expectation.
In performing an act without an intention, one would learn how to take failure and success equally as life lessons. Dispassion in working, does not involve in the mind of analyzing. It involve fully the heart of awareness in enjoyment.

Live without a ruler

Isn't how hilarious how we can be?

There are some issues we disagree, based on our criteria. And there are things we support, because we are doing it too.
As the years go by, our inner benchmark changes, our criteria of certain behaviors changes--- what we used to disagree, we may now agree with it. What we used to be so supportive of, has become a taboo.

After all, a bench mark is just a guide. We can stick to it religiously or going beyond it, and i say--- eventually we can remove this criteria. Living according to rule and regulation only shows that we're not able to stand independently on our own.

Just like a child can be really good and obedient by with his parents around. And wild and crazy when she's he's away from home. She's/ He's behaviors is dependent on the fear from his parents, and because she/ he loves them. But when she's  he's else somewhere, everything flips over.

And the criteria shifts from here to there. Disallows to allows.

I've always got nagged at for wearing black by my mum, but i still wear them day in day out. And when the time  she's going to wear something black, she suggested that the color is fine for certain events.

And soon, release the benchmark, if they are going to keep shifting, it loses function. 

Tough love with Ashtanga

One may sends a shiver down the spine whenever Ashtanga Vinyasa is mentioned. Many hold an idea that Ashtanga as a powerful and almost unattainable practice. Some say its even close to "military yoga" or "yoga for the warriors".

Though the first series is name " Yoga Chikitsa"--- as a " Therapeutic" practice, its not physically slow and gentle; however the process and the effect is focusing on detoxifying. 

Fire element plays a important role here. Whether its toxins, stress or fats--- we need to boost up the fire inside the body to create intense heat, to remove the impurities--- that's why the practice is very sweat pouring.

Many people are surprised by the refresh feeling after the practice:)

Whether you're a pure beginner or been practicing for sometimes, its doesn't matter! Yoga practices always offer modification. Its a matter of courage of even stepping on the mat. The thing is many people have heard and read about it, and are already frightened--- which they haven't even try it!

When i was in Mysore, there were total pure beginners at the last row attempted the series. The gurus ( who speaks little English) tried to get them into the pose, " You.. Left up, leg up, this one, right go back, hold.... 1..2...3....breath!.4...5"

Thumps up for their courage! 

Ashtanga Vinyasa touches me as a practice of " tough love"---- towards myself and others. 

There's times when its really difficult and dragging, and times when its smooth sailing; but no chance for any doubt that the practice is going to be harmful; and i just have to get through it to be stronger.

Equilibrium in duality.

Dissolves your Dreams

Today, he suggested: How do you know you're not in your dream right now? Your eyes are open doesn't mean much that you're in a real world. That probably the dream you're having in your sleep is your real world instead?  You also see, hear, smell, feel, speak... so which is real?

Something hit me a little... How come i never thought of this before? So, where am i?
Nothing is real, we're living in dream... always... until we're awake.

I thought its sort of like the movie " Inception". We plant a seed, deep but nothing will grow if we don't do anything to it. The seed will just remain in there. When we started to grow them, the seed turns into roots, and something grows.

Whether or not, everyone of us has dreams in different world. Some people say " Live your dreams"....
But i say " Dissolve your dreams"

Living your dream sort of telling us to keep fantasizing them, a little too futuristic. When we start to dissolve our dreams, means that we are already making it happen, and the dream is here, in the present. Focusing your energy right here, not the past memories and not the virtual future.

When we start killing our dreams, we're living.

The first indication that we are killing our dreams 

is the lack of time.

The second indication of the death of our dreams

is certainty.

The third indication that our dreams are dead

is peace.

~ The Pilgrimage

When fairy god- mother turned into a witch.

I got to know this recent news from my sis from the paper; which i guess it is also one news that concerns many parents. A student got raped by a school counselor. And later, she committed suicide in the school.

Not to jump into any assumption, but i find it a little too appalling.
A fairy god-mother, that a little girl thought she can seek help from... has turned into a witch. A counselor, who has probably lost touch with his reasons of stepping into this area, have been engulfed by his growing desire. Taking advantage of his superior position, to feed his own hunger.

How greed can turn someone ugly, just in one snap of finger.

I don't usually give a second glance on news, but this news probably caught my attention. I remembered today in the morning class, my teacher was just touching on a topic something in relation to " a person" and " a person in a job".

Its not so about how proper we play our role in our job position, scope and industry--- its very much about what and who we are as a person, on and off the job; our moral values and the way we get our things done.

I (never) learn my lessons.

Have you ever felt this way too? That finding yourself getting caught in the same situation again and again.
And wondering why certain things keep coming back to you?

I am one soul who never seem to learn from any lessons, until i decided to own it. I do find myself hilarious--- bumped straight into the wall, fell, cry, stood up.... and bump into the wall, fell.....
Just like trying to get balance in a headstand.. numerously falls... until one point---i've got  enough! And then, i start to access the causes of all these stuff.

Simply because, we tend to rely on our past, and keep applying old solution to the new problems, to make decision of our future. And of course, its whole lot of a big lesson to jump out of this cycle, that's leading us to nowhere--- but from past to future to past to future to past......never ending.

When we're ready to put in tough effort, it can surely be a whole new situation we'll be in. If we want to.

TTC: A gateway to the teaching industry?

Must there be a reason to do something? Maybe, maybe not.

Its so interesting that some asked about whether going through the teacher training course will guarantee them a job position later. Honestly, i don't know. A certification from the course can be a gateway to another path, but the sustainability of this journey is questionable.

However much i may support their initial step to this path, even luring them... may be also pushing them into the fire. In the opposite, its always good to have a head start somehow, somewhere... the question is: What are you working for if you're in the course?

I've met a good handful of them going through the course not working for the certification, but more intangible reasons.
Just for a simple reason, so that they can be the teacher of themselves, keep-up the well-being of the other side of their life ( besides their work) for a wholesomeness and well being... in order to keep doing the things they like to do.

Taking up teacher training course does not means a acute change in our career or work. It can be, if the interest is there. Otherwise, it is a gateway of life.

1 December 2011

Yesterday i received a letter offering a renewal of Satya Yoga.
I text Shirly to inform her, and she replied, " Wow! that's fast... time flies!".
On 1 December, officially stepping into our fourth year.

Yes indeed, i did not realize it until the letter came. Everything seems like we've just started Satya Yoga only yesterday; that we just graduated from the training course, stepping into a new world afresh.
Starting from the point of chomping bread and biscuits, flip flopping down the streets and Starbucking with Shirly over green tea lattes... till today.

Ever since, most of my time are around people of older in age, more experiences in the society and wiser in life. Whether i do feel old or otherwise, i am learning so much from them, and more to come...:)

I probably is missing a big portion of " fun time" with my friends; because i am indulge in the other part of " joy".
These has help in keeping me more grounded than i thought.

Today, i learnt that to travel in space instead of time, marks the quality of our work, our days and ourselves.
Though i am not ambitious, i do have big dreams!

Learning your own lessons, yourself.

My recent heading back to the philosophy sessions by master paalu has been keeping my head busy. The same yoga sutra was taught three years ago and today... still amazes me. Indeed, they are heavy stuff--- lots of processing going on, till i got into a slight headache. Nevertheless, its real juicy!

The verses draw out so much more lessons today; very much was because i started knowing the sutra like a blank canvas back then--- today, i learnt how to apply them and take references from my past experiences.

Each time i revisit them, its like peeling layers and layers to uncover a deeper meaning of the collection--- and i believe there's still so much more to dig into, like a bottomless pit!

Sometimes, i thought i knew them--- but i don't know them.
At very random time... like sitting on a train ride, walking down the street or even people- watching while lazing in a cafe--- suddenly at one point, i see something i never could figure out-- i knew it!
A sudden of excitement gushes up, i could not quite know how to explain it.

Paulo Coelho penned it beautifully in his recent book " Aleph":

" The first thing you feel is terrible desire to cry, not out of sadness or happiness but out of pure excitement.
You know that you're understanding something you can't even explain to yourself."

The most precious lesson is when its learnt by yourself, that's not even able to verbalize. Because true lesson is mute, it wants you to live them, not speak them.

I am jobless and happy!

I've people coming up to me wanting to know what made me want to do what i am doing now--- or rather a career switch. i do feel good when someone made an effort to ask this question.

Not because that i am aloft of achieving my current role ( yes, i am proud of what i am doing, but that's not the entire reason); but because they discover this desire to make a leap for themselves too--- i am just mirroring their burning desire.

Of course, i am always happy to share with them:)

Very simply--- " i don't like to wear formal attire and walk in high heels." I can't imagine myself doing the things i dislike daily. 

To rephrase the whole idea of doing what i used to do/ study--- instead of a career change, i just booted myself out from a job. There's a huge difference between job hops, career changes and... jobless. A career change may means jumping from one hole to another, still doing a job. 

I did not make any career change, i choose not to work in a job, because i want to live the way i wanted to. Neither a job nor a career. If ever i feel that i am working in a job, i am not living. 

Teaching classes come to me as weekly gathering for information sharing. Appointments comes to me as meeting up with friends. Personal yet professionally done. 

If you are reading this post, and pondering over a plan for a step forward to colorful days, its time to do something for yourself; else, don't complain about how badly life has been treating you! 

Honestly, i had my struggles and waves of fear hovering over me at one point--- all i did was to grip hold on faith tightly. ( not forgetting my teacher who showed me that there's such thing as "faith".)

If you're reading this post, and you're one of those great warriors who went through this roller coaster for a happier day, i believe we'll bump into one another someday. 

If you believe in the things you are doing, allow the people around you to grow with you...

To touch the lotus feet

Back to practice in my teachers' class, its just that something that i'd been always wanted to do yearly. Be it that this has become a yearly routine that i fits into my schedule book---  its something i want to do it for my own learning journey.

Ever since i'm out about teaching, most of my practices has been done at home. I do miss attending yoga classes, just being a student, listening to instruction and practice. I do miss adjustments ( because no one at home knows how to do it)--- instead of gentle touches, i prefer good -tight- pack ones.

Today, i'm back to that cozy studio along the stretch of shop houses in Arab street, just for practices.

In most time i am standing in the role of a teacher; for now, i want to take a switch in place to be the student. Once my teacher said that eventually, the student has to be on their own to learn; but until when this time really arrives.... i am still savoring my time being a student.

There're too many flourishing facilities oriented yoga spaces in city like Singapore.
I like it Masala- style. Just like those shalas in India. No chair, no air-con, no sofas. Carry your own mat, flip it on the ground, chat with the teacher and practice.

The teacher, the learners, the lessons.

We do not need to know "how" or "where",

but there is one question that we should all ask

whenever we start something:

" what am i doing this for?"

~ The Valkyries

 

Departure is Arrival

When time is up, people have to leave.

Sometimes with a bid goodbye;

sometimes they rushed off.

Its not the end of their journey yet, just moving on to the next phrase of life.

Be happy for them, for embarking towards a new journey.

Every death born a birth.

Every end starts a beginning.

Every dusk brings a dawn.

Every cry carries a joy.

Its a cycle we can't see, but we can witness.

We're either standing here, or there.

Stand neither here nor there;

Step away and see this as a whole.

Like every sleep, we travel towards awakening.

Moan if we must to get through our selfishness 

of not letting them go.

Set freedom to death for a new living.

Learning to unlearn, to learn.

Whenever i lead an instruction to a cobra pose, this student would later let out a sigh. I would apply the same adjustment on the same cobra pose for the same issue. This is habit. In this pattern, i could foresee the arriving adjustment i'd to do.

I later pull back my adjustment, but pointed out verbally about her mistake. Every time when i reminded her about the same point, she would reveal some irritation on her face. This time, when entering the cobra pose once again, i kept quiet. Interestingly, her face frowned a little and made the adjustment herself.

She released the pose and told me, " Aiya! I kept making the same mistake. Adeline, you know why i keep doing cobra like this? I learnt it in a class last time, the teacher did not make any adjustment in the class, and i did  not know i was not doing the correct thing.
And now, i have to unlearn everything and learn it again."

Interesting. Very few of us realize the habits that we're in until we see something else. But then again, even if we know, how many of us are willing to put that much of the effort to make it right?

Learning is one thing, learning to unlearn makes a whole lot of difference in our learning journey.            

When unlearning, we're also stepping backwards to the place where we first started--- and bringing in new knowledge.

Its very OK to doing things right slowly, instead of doing things wrong quickly. If we fail to get it right previously, then make it right this time.

What's there to rush anyway?

Competitions

Competitions, why do we want to get involve in it? 

Some take competition as Bulls- Fighting and others as Education. 

The hair- line of difference: Attitude 

Competition is another way of presenting fear. We reveals them unknowingly.

The reflection of fear is ego. 

The fear of not having enough.

The reflection of fear is greediness. 

The greed of never is enough.

We compete with a thought of monopolization.

A world that we can control and manipulate;

its a world of power. 

Is that true?

Its a world of desires.

That's why competitions are striving so well today.

Tell me, where is the point of joy in competition? 

I can't see them.

Things that can be get hold of through competition,

is not worth getting any.

Things that can be get hold of not through competing,

are worth sharing them. 

How's your practice going?

The question starts... so, how is my practice going? Beginners, intermediate or advanced?

As our practice goes, for weeks to months, from years to a lifetime... how do we gauge our level of practice? Sometimes, i find this as the easiest and challenging question to answer.

In these days of how yoga has been modernized by the cities, many take the performance of poses as a benchmark. A person who touches the toes in a forward bend does not make him/her any superior than the person who can barely bend forward. 

Asana practice, is just one aspect of the whole system of the yogic practice. However, our asana practices helps us by keeping an indication of our spiritual progress in life.

As Don Peers says: Practice loses its point if it is not reflected in how we live our life. 

The real practice starts only when we step out of our mat, carrying the same attitude as we are having while on the mat. 

How is your life going? That tells us how has our practice been going. 

Happiness and a sense of well- being wholesomeness form the core of yoga--- when they are growing in you and your life, you know you are on the right path.

Find the connection between your practice and your life, and break away from samsara. 

What do you see in the mirror?

Reflection...

Do you like the person you see in the mirror?

Are you even comfortable to rest your gaze on this person?

I look at the girl inside the mirror everyday,

someday i like what i see, someday i don't.

I can lie to any others, but not her.

I can hide from any others, but her.

The girl inside the mirror tells me the truth.

I said that the truth is really ugly;

she said i made it ugly--- truth is just being itself.

however harsh it may be, 

it never fails to keep me grounded.

Do right, and fear no men.

Do right, and hide from none.

Do right, and look into the mirror without a drop of shame.

We choose to get injure, don't we?

I've got this little scarring of the deep tissue muscles in my right hip. It has been following me since last year, and has not throw in any white flag yet. I would not take it as any major injuries, but i do believe that it will somehow snowball if i ignore it.

I am quite sure it was the cause of my ego-ness and ignorance, and over stretched myself earlier in my days. And now, the repercussion of my deeds come knocking on my door.

Injuries causes our muscles to tense up more than before--- due to the after- effect -shock. And it create a sense of fear mentally, that our nervous system turn on " fighting" mode to protect. 

Opening the old wound takes a lot of courage, soothing the wound takes a lot of patience. All i did for the therapy practice was to counter stretch, and i was soaking wet with sweats. It took that much effort just to ease of the discomforts.

We choose to get injure. Yup, it sound total ridiculous--- yes, we invited them.
Injury happens when we lack of focus and allow ourselves to get drifted off by external distraction;
we do things because of ego, and pushes ourselves over the limit with a snap!
we reject the whole idea of self- inquiry and prefer to be the ignorant ones;

And thus, injury enters our life to offer us some lessons.
If not for this irritable discomfort living in my hip, i would not go about understanding how to practice safely, that to break away from the tangle of ego-ness in my practice, and taking myself as a case study to eventually pass on this knowledge to the people.

Though you are a pain, but i appreciate you as ever.

Food for summer time!

The summer in this year round has been fabulously strong. I am pretty much overdosed with Vitamin D; and i'm having a huge summer time with my body system too. My tummy has gone hay-wire these days. Any stimulating meal in the day, would keep me flipping into sleepless night ( yes... insomnia) and frequent loo visits.

Chili.... toilet. Curry... toilet. Even cold drinks... toilet. Phew!

I requested for porridge, porridge and more porridge for dinner now. Simple food, does not need to be bland and boring. Here's what you can prepare at home:

Survival food--- Sweet potato Porridge

Instead of just having bland watery plain porridge.... bring in some sweet potatoes to the bowl. ( Yup, just like what our great- great- great grandparents ate to survive the war time.) It helps to add in some natural sweetness to the porridge too!

* please do also add in few small pieces of ginger slices---anti- human "gas bomb".

you can choose to eat them as prepared. I like to smash all the sweet potatoes and mix them with the porridge, its much sweeter this way:)

The Coolest Veg.

Hey yes, Its the cucumber! Our best friend in summer...!

We can consume them the conventional way. Raw. Sliced. Why not cook it, it taste as good too!

Keep the cooking process really simple: cucumber + little oil + little garlic + stir fry

Its a real juicy dish!

Simple ingredients. Simple cooking. Happy tummy.

Thanks to Yogi Cook ( my mum), she started the sweet potato porridge long time back, but i did not really give it a second look at that time. Thumbs up to her integrity for all these years: never give in to her basic principle in the kitchen. Clean ingredients, less oil, less salt... keep it simple!  

When outside food makes us sick.... simple home- cook food is actually all our tummy is asking for:)

 

Do the ground work & Rise with grace

Its pretty comical to see people start to dance and hoping around their mat--- refusing to let go of their grip on their toes in the mid-air, frowning their browns, determine to catch their balance somehow.

So, what's the deal for balancing pose? 

What's not keeping us in balance?  Many times is just simply that we're focusing on the wrong area to ask for a balance. Let's say: Grip your right toes with your right hand, and balance on the left feet. 

Where's do we draw energy from to give us the strength?

Try it yourself now, and check it out how you react in this situation!

Commonly, we tend to stare hard at the feet that we are gripping, and trying to get ourselves to the center point. But ended up dancing around, following where our feet wants us to go. Sometimes, it just feels like getting lead by a dog.

The whoo- haa is... we're looking at the wrong feet to ask for a good balance. 

Yes, its the boring standing left feet--- working really hard to root itself to the ground. Try this pose again, but this time... have your focus to the standing leg instead. Not literally looking down, but just put your mind and attention on the standing leg.

The standing feet is the only base that is closely in contact with the earth. Drawing energy from the earth upwards create a lightness at the top--- thus bring us a step closer to the mid-point. I would like to image myself in a standing balance pose... as to like a big tree standing firmly and strongly on its own... even a gush of strong wind comes by... i sway with the wind.... without affected the deep-rooted stance.

Balancing poses has so much to offer--- not only on the mat, but also valuable life lessons. Every fall gives us a space for self encouragement and patience. That we build a firm foundation on the standing heels, and a strong, spacious and elegant pose will grow--- instead of relying the feet flying in the mid-air as a pillar.

Interestingly, yoga teaches us that--- in life, its always that we create illusions for ourselves, and we often bring our mind to these illusions for solutions. When we learn to break free from this sheath of illusion, the solution is there waiting for us to touch. 

The flying feet creates the problem... the rooted heels provides the answers. Happy balancing! 

Starbucks of the day: Decaf Venti Latte

Something for us...s dreamers

The human catalysts for dreamers

are the teachers and encouragers  that dreamers

encounter throughout their lives.

So here's a special thanks to all the 

teachers.

~ Kevin Carroll, guest

Starbucks of the day: Venti Americano

Follow your madness

Let go your sadness, give up the fight,

follow your madness and take flight...

take flight.

~ Seal, musician

Starbucks of the day: Short Americano

Keep it moving!

"Everyday is a leap of faith."

~ Lizz Write, musician

Starbucks of the day: Decaf Grande Cuppucino

Who says life's boring?

Imagine we are all the same,

Imagine we all agree about politics, religion and morality.

Imagine we like the same type of music, arts, food and coffee.

Imagine we all look alike. Sound boring?

Differences need not divide us.

Embrace diversity. Dignity is everyone's human right.

~ Bill Brummel, documentary film maker

Starbucks of the day: Grande Caramel Macchiato

Commit with a heart that leads...

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating-

in work, in play, in love.

The act frees you for the tyranny of your internal critic,

from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around

as rational hesitation.

To commit

is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

~ Anne Morrise, cuupa lover from NYC

Starbucks of the day: Grande Skim Latte

You are beautiful, just the way you are

They told you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What they failed to tell you is that what you  look like isn't important.

What is important is who you are inside and that choices

you are making in your life...

~ Tiana Tozer, paralympic basketball-er 

I want to come Home...

The people who used to shunned off by the word yoga; who reasoned out that this is not my kind of stuff; who can't stand to believe that there's so much more to those visually simple to perform poses... at their darkest time, when they have never been so loss before--- realizing themselves going no else where. but moving closer to the yoga mat.

Many yoga teachers and gurus gives very very little advice to all sort of questions and problems the student asked. Sometimes i think that they are "stingy" with their answers, it just as though nothing can be dig out from them. Then again, there's no point explaining so much--- Just keep going back to your mat and practice. Everything will be just fine. 


I've come across quite a handful who decided to turn to yoga practice, after equipping themselves with full knowledge of dealing with different hospitals and clinics around the island. 


The practice of yoga has been put off as the last resort by many. We seek help from the doctors, from therapists, from advisers, from consultants of different specialization, from psychiatrist, whoever is available--- only when the body is tired, the mind is drained, the emotion is exhausted... we thought of yoga. That we decided to stop listening the others; that we yearn for a rest, listen to ourselves and starting to make our way back Home.

At the end of the day, whatever problem we created outside, we solved them at Home.

Taking up yoga practices does not just mean by enrolling into a class. But its a good start. Keep going back to the mat, dig deeper... and you'll find your way home.

Does cause- and -effect ever exist?

Talking about karma, can be really tricky. I am surprise by how this topic can be interpret into various religion belief. It may be adopted, but not created.

If i used the Sanskrit "karma" and "Samara" --- some may relate it as Hinduism or Buddhism belief. Also, the

But, if i used it simply in English " action or deed" and " cause and effect"--- it become more of a western practice. Christian concept of reaping what you sow from Galatian 6:7.
Both are the same.

It doesn't matter whether we believe that whether there's such a thing, but it is happening right without our consent. The very thing we are doing right now represent an act or a string of action--- "karma" and "deeds"
If Samara or "cause and effect" does not exist--- then why are we still doing what we are doing now? Since it will not produce any result anyway.

Let me quote a simple example:

Why do we eat? 

Because we are hungry, we need energy. ( cause)

What happen after we eat?

No more hunger, and we got body energy ( effect)

And this event is a cycle of action ( Samara)

" I  work hard because i want a better life..." ( this is cause and effect)

When doing good deeds, like charity, we want to believe that cause and effect does exist--- because the result is favorable. 

When doing bad deeds, like stealing, we deny that it exist--- because the result is unfavorable.

We get restricted by our own believe.

In the cycle of Samara and karma, there's not categories of positive or negative--- everything is neutral. You plant seed A, you bear fruit A. If you plant seed B, you bear fruit B.

The works of nature does not need our consent, because we are operating as part of it.  

When we create something, we eventually need to dissolve it. 

Creation- Preservation- Dissolution, that the basic cycle we are living with each day. We can choose not to recognize it, but the cycle moves on.