The hilarious Darshan

The last time I saw little Darshan 2009, he was always shouting, “boom! Boom! bOOOm!”.

This year he had obviously grown taller and up to more mischiefs.  Walking them home after school, this little boy with a mushroom button haircut; would either tries his very best to step on my flip-flop from the back or come dashing his head into my bum.

Today, Darshan patted me on my back; I turned around and he quickly lie down on the ground and performed a yoga wheel pose. He was bobbing up and down, with a wide smile that revealed his sparkling teeth.

He signaled me to stand, and started pulling my arms, “melleh (up)… melleh (up)”; dragging me to the boy’s bunk at the second level.  We ran in, he climbed the chair and showed me an “ashtanga yoga primary series chart” on the wall. Darshan pointed the photo of the wheel pose and demonstrated a wheel again in a corner.

I exclaimed in exaggeration, “Wow… good!”

Cheekily, he laughed… showing a face of satisfaction.

… Oh, he could be the next arising yogi…

The Painless pain

“Who don’t have pain… everybody in this room has pain.” Ajay was voicing across the room.

Yes, I agreed. Each of us in this room sure to carry some amount of pain since yesterday’s back-bending class; I too find myself struggling out of the bed this morning…even  washing up became a chore.

Interestingly, some teacher prefers the student to “listen to your body, and don’t push yourself too much.  Release the pose if you feel pain.” However some teachers would go for, “You have to go through some physical pain to release your tightness.  But, don’t jerk and injure yourself.”  

It is important to know what our pain is. Not all pains are bad, and not all pains are good too.

Those who love to live in contradictions would usually end up in a mess:

A good number of people suffer from the usual discomfort--- chronic back, knees and shoulders aches (bad pains which lead us to more sufferings). Upon having awareness of these pains, most people choose to accept them and live with pains in silence.  

The mind tells them “Its ok, the pain is bearable, I can still move around without any problem. It’s endurable.”

Some may decide to opt for yoga classes, and prepare to give up when they feel great amount of discomfort in a pose. They drag the aches and pains that last for days--- (good pains that lead us to freedom of pains).

The mind says, “I’m here to release my pain, but ended up having more pains… why should I make myself suffer like this. The aches are terrible; I can’t even walk properly… I think I’m going get injured, i better stop.”

“Listen to your body”, a common term we can get from teachers. But most of us ended up listening to our mind. The mind is a beautiful slave, but an ugly master. That’s probably the reason why most yoga  pages mention to “follow your heart” and “listen to your body”; Instead of bringing the mind to take charge of our life.

Every one of us has pain--- Every one of us has moments of sadness--- Every one of us has experience falls and hurdles.  We can either take them with love, or with hatred. One can embrace the existing pains; bring the pains through a more intense of soreness to release the agony; that’s when we start to love life.

One can also choose an easier option to watch the pains grow and prolong; suffer and live with the bad pains for the rest of the days; that’s when we start to hate life… because it’s full of sufferings.

Listen to what the mind says and stay stupid. Listen to what the heart says and stay wise.

An unexpected lunch invitation

It was the second time I met Jamanagiri Sawmiji at Operation Shanthi, where he makes frequent visit to the center. Later to leant that he’s the Director of the center. We greeted him at the gate, and got an invitation to his place for a lunch. Upon knowing that we’re from Singapore, he exclaimed, “Oh… Changi airport! Very nice place, I was there.”

“Come at 12pm tomorrow, I have good idlis for lunch...” he repeated a few times warmly.  

Swamiji stays up at Chamundi Hill in Mysore, in Shiva Temple (which is one of a tourist spot). One could climb up a thousand steps to reach the temple, that didn’t happen to us… we hopped onto our usual auto rickshaw, Shreka ( with his 10 year old vehicle, transporting us to and fro to the center).

We entered the temple from the side gate, up the steps leading to the top-left side of the temple.  Ushered to a small opening, we bent down low curling our body as we nibbled our way into the cave. There was Sawmiji sitting down giving his blessings to the devotees entering from the main opening. We exchanged smiles and sat down to join two other guests by the side.

Shortly, Sawmiji got up and brought us out of the “cave for worshiping” and showed us his room--- another cave just at the side. Practically, it was a hole created from a huge rock.  Small, very humble and very interesting space. The coolness in the room comes from the stone wall, and unexplainable good energy I could feel.

When the clock strikes 2pm, we sat down on the ground mat in the open space. Swaiji poured some water in his palm and rained them around his plate; he nodded as a gesture to start the meal. Three fresh idlies with gravy and coconut chutney by the side, we served the food into our mouth with fingers.

We spent some times sitting and chatting, as Swamiji was telling us about the art of meditation. The most wonderful thing a human being can do in life is to be able to meditate, because we have a mind… to choose how we want to live. But first, you have to make up your mind what you want to do. And very important, you have to stand firmly… always. Be patient, it’ll come.

Immediately, i thought of what Paulo Coelho had wrote in " Manual of the Warrior of Light":
The warrior of light meditates.

He sits in a quiet place in his tent and surrenders himself to the divine light. When he does this, he tries not to think about anything; he shuts himself off from the search of pleasure,from challenges and revelations, and allow his gifts and powers to reveal themselves.

Even of he does not recognise them then, these gifts and powers are taking care of his life and will influence his day-today existence.
While he meditates, the warrior is not himself, but a spark from the Soul of the World. These are the moments that give him an understanding of his responsibilities and of how he should behave accordingly.
A warrior of light knows that in silence of his heart he will hear an order that will guide him.

I could see the enthusiasm in his eyes; as he continued about having good thoughts in the mind can lead to good action and outcomes. Thoughts are just thoughts, it’s not real. Acting on your thoughts make things happen… but on good thoughts only.

Despite the bustling of visitors at the main gate of the temple, the serenity at the top was just so settled. Our “philosophy lesson” reminded me of the conversations in the class back in the studio. Today, it was under a big trees, fresh air and beautiful drop-back of the Mysore city.   

We knelt down to touch his feet in gratitude, as he patted on our head as blessings. It was my first time doing this, and it's something delicately special.

A huge Nandi ( bull, where Lord Shiva rides on) at the main gate, was curved out from a huge granite rock; which was already here before the temple was built.

Leading a life of a sadhu (monk), Swamiji speaks a mouthful of good English (he studied Literature in college), dresses humbly in orange clothes, with his shoulder length grey hair and white beard… always a smile on his face.

Breakig the wall of language barrier

The previous visit to Operation Shanthi last year, communication was only by body gestures, smiles and a few English words we shared, " name?" " superb!" " mdm" " beautiful!". And i made little effort to understand Kannada, i caught no words.

This round, I find that their standard of English has gone few levels up. Speaking in proper sentences are possible with the older kids (10-13 year old). And in exchange, they taught us some common terms in Kannada used daily.

" Wodi Bheda" means "no beating"--- we usually say this to the kids when they started playing too crazily, and go around beating one another. The next moment, couple of them would either come to us crying or start rolling on the ground in tears.

When its time for them to drink milk, we'll shout, " Aloo Godi!"... and

To get the boys up to their bunks at the second level we'll sit by the stairs before they come sneakily down,
" Melleh Whagu"... " go up"

Interesting hand signs both the children and us has to learn, under urgent situation to understand one another mutaully:
- sticking the pinky finger out ... its " i need to pee"
- sticking the index and middle finger out, or a number 2 sign... its " i need to poo"

Today was interesting... We were at the gate ready to leave the place, little Manu came down from the second level, ran all the way to the gate and pointed out his left pinky and grabbing his groin on his right; looking at us in despair.
For a moment, we just burst into laughter... it probably sounded very mean of us, just couldn't help it. He looked at us desperately with a smile and started to crossed his legs, trying his very best to control. Quickly, after noted Mahesh, he flew him in the mid-air to the loo.

Though only a few words i'm using with them, its a good start to break a few bricks from the big wall. There are more interactions, and good chances to understand what they like, or even what they are learning in school and helping a little on their homework.

The pilgrim

Groping in the darkness at 5am, people armed with yoga mat; marching out from different lanes, and later joining the same street as we are; heading towards the direction to Lakshmipuram.

I unrolled the mat and join the rest of the group in the room. There was no chatter; everyone was doing their own way of waking the stiff body up--- some were into simple stretching, while some sitting in easy pose into s short meditation.

Ajay came and everyone sat down crossed leg, palms in prayer.

“aum….Jeeva mani prachatpana… … pranamani pantanjalim” and the practice started. The first round of surya namaskar was led by the teacher; and the rest of the series on our own pace. It was interesting that how we all started the practice in unison, yet ended at different time. Some moved swiftly from one pose to another, while some took a little more time in a pose. The teacher would always appear just at the right time, “I’ll get you.”--- Either to assist us or moving us deeper into the pose.

 “Parama rushibhyo namaha… … acharya, devo, bhava…” we stopped whatever we’re doing and was led into the closing mantra by the Ajay. And we continued our practice with the finishing sequence.

This whole scenario sort of depicts our own little path. We may be starting our journey with a group of friends--- enrolling into a course together or moving into the society after graduation. We may be on the same path, working on different things.

Still towards the same direction: some may take a little more time struggling with their limitation, and some may be moving more intensively into their expertise. And of course, some got drifted off and few probably just gave up.

And at a certain right time, just when we’re ready to receive help--- the person will appear. And again, those who’re persistent shall meet again on the same path; coming into union.

The beauty of Mysore-style practice is that when everyone is given the same chart and the same set of instructions; but because each of us comes from various backgrounds and with different body conditions--- that makes each of our practice so special, and so unique. The on-going test on one’s endurance level and how much effort one is willing to put in.

It’s not about competition; it's the attitude of the whole practice. The “never-stop-trying” spirit, no matter how much soreness one is dealing with mentally and physically. Despite all those struggles and falls one has to bear, taking them all with patience.  

In any path we decided to take on, we get the opportunity to discover our strength and weakness. We may even realize that our forte is also our flaw. We can always spend more time at a certain point, and move on when we’re ready to. Intense focus is so important to keep us deep-rooted on this path, being fully aware of those distractions that may push us off the road.  

If it happens, no problem! One can always come back for a pilgrim again.

Treasure the found, that was once lost

Ever had an encounter, when you found something that you had once lost it? How did you feel upon retrieval?  Has this thing become more precious to you than any time before?

Few events I’d lost few stuff, and I thought I’ll not see them again. Oh well, if it’s yours, it’ll return to you. If it’s not meant to be with you, it’ll not appear. That’s what’s I’ve always thought. Things just come and go, and may or may not come back again. Things that I’d lost in Singapore, I found them in India. Interesting indeed!

Few moments, experiences, feelings, people and connections. And this “lost and found” had taught me some great lessons of being appreciative of each second that’s ticking now. To treasure all those moments that I’ve once let it slipped through my fingers; and all is coming back by my side… for me to work on.  

After the practice at the shala, a lady was telling us that how she’d lost her comfort of mobility of the hips for so many years. Which she thought she may have to live with it for the rest of the years; amazingly, after committing 9 days of full practices, she found back the freedom of movement of her hips. “Oh, thank god, I’m so going to treasure this!” she exclaimed.

Isn’t such a nice experience? That we get a chance to lose something that may not belong to us. And what’s for us will eventually be recovered, in the least expected time.

Losing something may not necessary a bad thing and it’s not. When that something is found, we’ll know how to appreciate more and not wanting to lose them again; unless, you choose to throw them away.

Fearless, I am not… yet.

One decision that I’ve always thought it’s made for good sake, despite all the objections that came slapping on my face was--- getting into teaching freelance. And due to this, I started bumping into other freelancers from various expertise; they who chose to step out of the norm and are working hard to make their dreams come true. And gladly, are the ones whom we share the identical experiences of getting some slaps for moving off tracks.

Others said that I’m too daring (negatively--- in a female point of view), maybe.

Was in a discussion with a friend, who’s also decided to leave a blooming farm and is now planting his own tree; with his skills and experiences he had got from his corporate days.  Some people may agree that it's silly; others may applaud for the brilliant move.

Are we the fearless lot? No, I do have fears. Some.

When we were young, our parents started to inject fears… then the teachers… then our superiors… and slowly we learn to even create our own… and inject them to the people around us.

Remember how our parents threaten to call the police if we’re not good? How the teachers used to cane our palm when we gave the wrong answer?  How bosses hint about retrenchment all the time? And how we started to imagine the danger that may happen to us, which probably not?

It’s very much fine to have fears, nothing embarrassing. One of my biggest fears--- anything about road directions, but I’m not so scared of getting lost though... I do get lost most of the time, but this does not prevent me to travel around to new places.
The thing is, most people just have got too much of it. And they make decisions according to their fears, not dreams; and living in days filled with fears instead of fulfillments.

Some people I came across may express their envy for the freedom i am leading. But inside them their little voice tells them: Hmmm...It’s nice. But, i think it’s more secure to stick to what I am doing. I may not like the job with long hours and high stress, but at least it’s stable. As little change as possible, I will make.

We all probably share same fears some time in our lives; while some others’ have got bigger dreams. With full awareness, we choose not to be control by fears--- through magnifying our dreams, big enough to minify the fears.
Never forget to thank those who're laughing for our foolishness, who're talking behind our backs and who're trying to normalize our mind--- they have no bad intention. For what’s going to break us, will make us stronger.

Dedicated to those who are starting to listen to the callings from your heart; those who started to visualize dreams; those who are battling with changes, shedding tears and bloods more than you thought and those who step hard on fears and live in gusto!

Chapatti… chapatti

Saturday is the day when the kids will have chapattis for dinner. And we got a chance to join the cook lady in the kitchen. In the humble kitchen, we sat down on the ground sheet with two other older boys. Upon receiving a board and a roller, we started our task. One of the older boys will take charge of kneading the mixture into balls and the rest of us to spread the mixture flat, ready for the cook to put them on fire.  Un-day means ball.

The two boys started talking… and talking… and talking…in a string of Kananda to the cook lady. And the lady kept nodding… nodding…and nodding. The whole scene was just hilarious and we laughed. One boy said, “I talking, talking, and no finishing. He… he...” That’s probably how kids want to be heard and understood by the adults.

Probably it was the arrival of moon day, which usually makes people more “lunatic” that the moon’s moving closer to the earth, and affecting the elements of the human mind that makes people tend to be a little more restless. And I’ve no objection to that explanation, the children were hyper-active throughout the day.  It was a good weight-training session for me though.

By evening, we left the place. I could hardly think. We went down to an eating house, Sixth Main and got some lovely chaat (snack) --- bahidi puri. It's a cooling snack that serves before proper dinner; in a small puffed up crust, is stuffed with sprouted moong beans (green beans) with a mixture of some sweet and spicy sauce, and lastly to top up with some curd.

Though it was still an early night, I snoozed flat on my sheets.

A second visit to Operation Shanthi

Today is pretty much a day I’ve been looking forward to since my last visit in 2009. This year, we had got Joanne whose pretty much already getting involved in the operations. With an appointed auto-rickshaw driver, we started the bumpy ride to the orphanage. The area is out of the city, a breath-taking sights--- fluffy clouds spreading across the vast blue sky and cattle grazing around the greens.

Entering the gate, I saw two familiar faces--- Lalitha and Stratha. The two small girls, who have no school today, ran towards the gate and greeted us happily. Stratha, who came to me and slipped her little hand into mine, looking up brightly and said, “you adeline? I remember your face…do A B C painting?”  I was totally surprised.

She gave me a thug at my hand and said, “Madam, sitting.” Signaling me to lower myself, and I squatted. The two girls then went behind me and began playing with my hair; some whispering and giggling which I don’t really understand.

This is what i got at the end of the day. Small flowers to decor, super!

Followed Joanne and Shirly to pick up the kids from school--- a 20 minutes’ walk.  It was interesting; pretty much like mother hens trying to get the chicks to the nest. Jyothi was on my left and she’d never stop singing and shouting for the next 20 minutes of walk back home.

The older kids reached later back to the house. They called me the-stretch yoga madam or ABCD madam. And we started playing leg-splits and probably nearly tearing their pants. 5pm, some teachers came in and it’s time for tuition!

Again, from Stretha," You coming tomorrow?". She pulled each of us down to a squat and gave us a good-bye kiss on our cheeks. Sweet.

There are many in the name of NGOs (non-government organization) both in Bangalore and Mysore; which I know of at the moment. However, whether how the funds are used among the needs and the management is always a question to many.

It’s probably good to actually understand the set-up of the NGO that we intend to give a helping hand to; and know that the assistance from the public are going to improve the lives of the needy group as much as it can stretch.

I did No-thing much in Bangalore

After a long excruciating ride, I got into Mysore safely last night. Joined Shirly and Joanne in Gokulam; this time--- the doctor’s corner.

After roaming briefly for a month in Bangalore, Mysore seems to be easier and more comfortable for me to move around. A place where we can find friendlier people, less assertive and pretty laid back. It’s also an area where most aspired yogis and yoginis from foreign lands are moving around--- and am one of them.

I like both Bangalore and Mysore. They each have got a different approach of living. The so-called “training ground” happens on various grounds.  So, what did I actually really do in Bangalore, many people questioned me? Nothing much actually.

I watched quite a bit of good programs on the TV box. Read a few good books. Interacting with other foreigners. Travelling with people whom I know for just a week. Caught up with some friends. Most of the time, I just observed what people are doing--- people watching.

It is really amazing how people behave according to the environment they’re in; and how the people around us can affect our thoughts and eventually to mold our character. I even found myself having to mimic the way they think, behave and speak to get things move smoothly.

Many people probably have a perception that in a proper yoga class should happen in a studio/shala with a teacher and be a proper yoga student. Yoga lessons are life lessons that give us opportunities to learn from our days.  

The yoga studio may happen anywhere--- whether I’m in Singapore or Bangalore. The problems given to us--- maybe the auto-rickshaw driver, the shopkeeper or the fruit seller on streets; and at the end of the day, we are our own teacher. We teach ourselves to make wise decision and act on them; we teach ourselves how mistakes can be an opportunities to strengthen our character.

We are the teacher, the shala and the lesson.  

A fish is not aware that it’s in the water. And in this trip to Bangalore, is definitely a great one--- when I choose to be the fish that jumps out of the water to observe other fishes and the tanks.

Falling sick makes me a child

Whenever i'm unwell, i feel i'm back to a child again,

yearning for all the attention from my ma-ma

just like any children do.

It doesn't matter to question my weak body, 

all i ask for is the warmness of her hands on my forehead and tummy, 

The whispers by my ears, asking if i am OK.

Sitting by my bed whole night,

just to be sure that i am comfortable.

Being in India, i've always been very careful about what i put into mouth. So, i would usually prepare my own meals. But these days, something did not work according to my plan. Gotten over some cold, and now bad tummy. Its nothing near to food poisoning, just some rumbling tummy. Grabbed some tablets from the pharmacy, and pours down cups and cups of warm honey water into my stomach.

Sometimes when we fell sick, we just turned moody. Just wanting to rest like a cocoon. Even when my physical is recovering, something's not there yet. In that private little showering time, i whistled " Sing, sing along" impromptus--- and thought of the Elmo from sesame street. 

And i watched this:

And i felt just so much better, thanks Elmo!

Being child-like, is not childish, naive or ignorant.

Its just what we really are, so love it!

" la la la la, la la la la, Elmo song..."

Lessons on rides

Moving around on public rides in India, is a total 360 degree from what i used to do back home. Sign boards helps little though its not precise enough, landmarks ( still working on it), turning into streets and lanes is murderous for me. Every street looks the same--- there'll be local sweets shops, ma-ma shops, pharmacies, local eating house in almost every street.

A Polish Anita and Singaporean Adeline. Two foreigners travelling on public was sure a good time to for lessons. Interestingly, we later realised their working pattern is a reflection of their thoughts. Instead of wanting to save more on travelling by taking the train, we ended up spending more than on Goa itself. But, that was all worthwhile for the authentic-ness.

Boarding the train, ticket-less
Happily, we did an online booking for the train a week before the travel. Paid and received a booking confirmation on the email. Got it printed out.

Arrived at the city train station, asked a man in the office for help. He looked at the print out, scribbled something that resembled a signature. " OK, this is ticket. confirmed", he said. Not realising that his English was actually " private limited".

Couldn't find our name on the long list, and people advised us to look for this man, TT, in black coat--- the train conductor. We turned around, at least 80% of the men were in black coat! Time was running out, and we decided to just hopped into the cabin. The train started to moved, felt a little relived.
The conductor came, checked our crumpled print out, " your status is not confirm, means you're now on the train without any ticket." What, that little scribbled actually wrote: WL 9, 10 waiting list 9, 10

" You two need to get down the next station, Tumkur"
What's that? Tumkur, in the middle of nowhere, in the darkness of 11pm. Good.
A couple then mentioned that they had got their ticket confirmed only 2 hours before boarding time. Because it was the eve of Diwali, therefore its the peak season to travel on train. And there, two pathetic ladies hogging onto the seats of the others.

When we were mentally prepared to battle the next war in Tumkur, the conductor came stomping towards us. " I've got two upper beds at first class, let me know if you want them". We took it.
The earlier online payment would be refunded and we settled the present one by cash. After all the tension, we both slumped into the bed for 10 good hours.

Alighted at Londa ( another unsound advice we took)--- a small rural village. Switched four local buses ( which we think there must be a better option). There was not clear bus sign of which bus to which destination. The buses where parked so randomly. The locals would not usually give the exact direction, instead, they would point to a direction ( north, south, east, west manner) with their arms--- so keep asking along the way.

I thought that it would be easier for everyone if signage are up; it may means that the workforce may shrink. For a bus, there would be 1 driver, 1 conductor, 1 person shouting the destination. This probably how they create job positions for the locals by sharing responsibility.

With technology, it may be a good thing to some, and a bad news to some. In India, the fear of wanting technology may means taking over their job position--- which some groups probably are resisting of having the idea of working in efficiency. This can be seen more commonly in the village part of the land. Reflecting their mentality of the way they work, behave, and live.

The unsweet coconut

" Mdm, want coconut? Very sweet", one of the fruit seller asked.
In fact, most of them would stand by for the sweetness of their fruit, who wouldn't?
It was a hot noon, without any desire for heatstroke, i asked for the sweet water.

After hacking one coconut, instead of giving it to me, she put it aside. I was puzzled.
" i give you another one, this one not sweet" she said.
Wow... " how did you know?" i was curious.
" i just know, its not sweet. Not sweet, i don't give my customer." she said proudly.

 This lady sure knows how to keep her reputation, and am sure people who had deal with her will go back for her coconut water. Integrity, this is how she run her business and this is how she live her life with principle.
She can always choose the easy way--- the fact that she couldn't lie to herself and to her customers, taking wise choices; makes her a great person in her own way.

Sometimes, we have to practice Tough Love. The tougher we are on ourselves, the easier life will be on us. We are constantly making choices. The quality of our life is shaped by the quality of our choices and decisions, isn't it?

Living a life

Location: Anjuna beach

6am. i stepped out of the room, and saw this beautiful picture of the beach. I walked down the steps and entered into this breathtaking scene. The sea was just so calm, there was nothing for me to thinking about as the tranquility sets in. The image was splashed with strokes of mist, flowing slowing from the left to the right.

Facing the west, there was no sunrise. But it's good enough for the quietness.

It was cold. I walked towards the sea, allowing the sand to sink in between my feet. Sat down, the softness of the fine grains sort of accepted me as i rooted myself comfortably.

Savouring the sea breeze, i tasted the mild saltiness of the air; also setting on my skin with some stickiness.

 Timeless; gazing far at the horizon, a school of dolphins jumping off the surface traveling across the sea--- a few times. There was a group of foreigners on my far left, with little murmuring among themselves.

I made prayers, deeply and faithfully with gratitude; in silence. Still enjoying the sound as the wind blew against my ears, and the overlaying of the gentle waves. As the scenery gets brighter, a herd of cows, goats and dogs came into the picture--- adding some liveliness to the view.

Unknowingly, i became part of the whole painting. Never a morning will be the same, it'll keeping changing with time. And i was part of the change that morning, that created a morning that had never been before.

I like taking some time just for myself every time i get up in the morning. It need not be long, sometimes 5 minutes or 15 minutes, before i start my day. Some thoughts may flow by, let it flow.Just observe without the intention to deal with any of them. Our mind is just like a cup, and its good to start a day with an empty cup; to make space for new lessons of the day. 

i honour this silence. There's no such good time like this for us to reconnect with who we really are as a person, and to come to know the glory that rests within us. Yes, we all are busy... so are the ants.  

The story of Surya

Location: Anjuna, Goa

" madam, do you want coconut, pineapple, banana?" smiling at me, exposing her toothless grin. This was how i met this woman on the beach. Surya was one of the women who runs her own mobile fruit business; where she moves around with such a heavy-weight basket of fruits balancing on top of her head.

She is very tanned and stout, who probably has to lift her fruit basket up and down countless times a day---with at least 10-15kg; sometimes having a big watermelon in one arm.

"You look ( pointing at the basket), i go take coconut ( pointing at the back hut), i come back." In some very basic English, this is how she communicates with the foreigners. Behind all those smiles, the lines on her face somehow reveals her grievance.

She came back from behind, with two coconuts. Placing them on the soft sand, pulling out the pa- rang from the basket and started hacking the coconut skillfully. She must had done this for years i thought.
" You are a strong woman", i told her.

In a moment, her smile faded and she look at me, " my name Surya, means Sun. My life sad, my son died. He 22 year old. He come home from holiday, tell me chest pain and gone the next day"

Surya has 4 daughters and a son; she later said that all of them cried for many days; and she misses her son dearly till today.
" Bad life, very bad", she sort of concluded her life.
" You have four good daughters. you are strong, good life." i told her. She brightened and nodded with a smile.

Without any pity, yet i am very impressed by her strength to live on. Which makes her even tougher than before, knowing that she needs to survive in any circumstances.

Getting chained and living in the past is probably one scariest thing that can happen to us. When we allow the present to flow passed without any knowledge; where we constantly are living in a state of fake happiness, sadness or agony.

Everything that happens, happens for some reasons. We may not know them when we want to, but this reason will appear together with some other events later. 

There is in the worst of fortune the best chances for a happy change.~ Euripides

Coni's dad

i was honoured to be able to bumped into Coni's ( landlord) father last week. A 75 year old man from Switzerland, entering his 8th year of retirement, with his very first time travelling to Asia; who started his journey from the north and all the way down to south India.

First impression: a very happy-go-lucky man; its written all over his face despite all those wrinkles curved in deeply into his skin. We exhanged few conversations, the way his eyes brightened up whenever he told me about his travelling days, the things he likes to do--- full of enthusiasm. Skiing, trekking and mountain climbing just to name a few.

One evening in my room, i heard the sound of the ping pong ball and cheers coming from the hall. Coni and his dad were having their private ping-pong tournament--- which lasted for two days. " he is definitely not 75" i thought; sharp vision with the agility of his movements, comparable to any young chap.

probably this is what we always say as " young at heart". Age is nothing, but a mental barrier.

Thou shall not seek, anymore.

I remember it was the very last few times when i went back for my yoga master; he pointed, " stop seeking for you may always be the seeker". That we should not try to even seek for any life guru, because there's not any other guru then ourselves. Which sort of clarifies my initial idea of looking for a teacher. He's a guru, not my guru.

Still, i've unclear loads of question of not being a seeker. Does it mean that i should not look for the things i want, no goals to move towards to, no purpose in my days, no motivation to move on without the need to search for something. Especially in philosophy, its something that the books can't explain fully; its by experiencing.
Decided to surrender seeking for any answer, i slot this quote at the back of my mind.

It was the second week of my trip in Bangalore, that i understand what master has been talking about. A teaching don't happen in a day; and this story started last year. I lost something which I've been searching high and low frantically; which i eventually decided to give up and just let it go. Which after five months of surrendering, it popped out in front of me without warning.

Can't imagine that i actually cried. Not that i was sad or getting into any emotional trauma; it was such an amazing feeling on how life actually can answer my doubts by slipping in me; with the least or no expectation. Isn't it always the case? That when we stop focusing on the problem, the solutions will appear just at the right time, when we're ready for it.

One year ago, a friend who always tells me that people are successful because they met the right people, at the right place and at the right time. I don't agree with him at all. After all, i understood his point. Something does not happen doesn't mean that it'll not happen; just that we're not ready to let it touch our life. When we stop pushing things to happen and just wait, it'll come just at the right moment.

~A student need not seek for the teacher; the the teacher will appear when the student is ready.

Yoga: rubber band or iron rod?

It seems like the worries to getting into yoga is having a fair bit of flexibility? Not at all, because we're not looking to join any contortionist community. Interestingly, i heard many people said, " i need prepare myself to be more flexible first before i have the gut to step into a class". I never know how should i reply them, so i did not.
We don't have to prepare anything, for yoga is the preparation.

Physically, the degree to work for flexibility is the same degree to work for the strength. There's no flexibility without strength and vice versa; because our body muscles work in tagonist and antagonist. When we go for great flexibility without strength--- there's no control; in the opposite--- there's no freedom.
The essence of yoga, is to work around for the balance of these two; first physically, then mentally and lastly spiritually.

A humble yoga session, is not a performance to show off on the mat. Not the level of poses we can achieve, and we don't achieve anything; we learn. Its a good time to be "ugly". Be open to acknowledge the weaknesses, embrace them and bring those weaknesses to strength.

A flexible mind brings creativity; a strong mind builds up self-integrity. We need both.

Trick or Treats?

31 October 2010
Haven't been up to any tricks or treats for years. And this Halloween, my friend brought me along to a party where all other expats usually will come together for celebration. Many of them were all dressed up; lots of hot devils with the blinking horns, Egyptian god and goddess walking around, blood shot eyes with ugly face masks roaming... The on-beats from the speakers were sure to boom my heart out though the music was good.

Which later, some decided to have a cold bath-- jumping into the pool. It was an intriguing scenic. Halloween, though does included watching horror show, but nobody does it sadly. Its probably another reason for the crowds to come together crazily for a horror night.

Was on Yahoo news, and read on the new--- Halloween Horror at Downtown East, that resulted the death of a youth. Starring incident which was a common issues among the students that causes unnecessary fights and injuries. Got tricked by Anger, ego and rashness; nobody gains anything from these treats, and yet losing a good chance to live.