31 December 2013

1/4 of second series--- Stepping into a not -so- peaceful practice.

Within the few years of commitment with the Ashtanga Primary, i would be so eager to want to do the Secondary... all so attracted by the fanciful poses.
Now, when its in my hands, i am rather approaching it very cautiously.

James started bring me into some second series poses, i was all excited about the practice. What i did not realized before was the up- roaring emotional effect just over few months of practice.

Besides the deep extension and flexion of the spine, or the exploration of full range motion of the joints--- there was this commotion stirring up inside me, when i couldn't really grasp it well.

So finally, one day i injured myself, and i totally back- off from the intensity-- and retreat back to modified Primary practice for couple of months. During this "recovery" time, i was aware of the changes internally--- more toned down than before, more at ease.

As when i felt more emotionally ready, i returned back to the second series under James recently.
I'm sure many practitioners too experience the over-whelming and up- heaving emotions surges during their early stage the secondary. In especially all those deep backbends and extreme chest opening positions-- many uncomfortable things within are happening in that 5 breaths.

What i personally experience as i started the second series ( i didn't go that far, probably just a quarter of the whole), images attached with not- so- nice feeling show up in my head. This didn't happen in the Primary practice--- this reappearing of the past issues happens whenever i pick up second series again.

It is kind of frustrating for me, because i re- enter into episodes that didn't make me feel good--- not in the past and not in the present.
I felt sad or angry once again, for which i thought i'd consciously moved on long time ago.

Sarcastically, these nerve- cleansing effects from the second series was telling me--- how i did not actually get over those emotions, and that i was just carpeting over them.

A re-visit to the practice, i am taking it with more maturity and more willing to allow the process of uncovering my layers of emotions from the past drama. I will not say secondary practice in any one point is comfortable for me now---- its a good time and stage for me to grow.

No comments:

Post a Comment