The Liar Academy Award

The best liar is not only one who can lie, without blinking or stammering;
is not, one who can so convince people that the lies are truth;
is not, one who make sell stories, and others buy them willingly.

The best liar, is one who can lie, without realizing the pricking of the self- consciousness;
is, one who don't even have to lay any effort to convince oneself of the lies;
is, one who don't even know that what lying is, the act of lying is, not knowing one is totally immerse into it;
thus, lies are true lies, taking them as truth, buying ones own story.

One interesting thing is that, all lies are intentional. An intent to lead the convenient way of life. Lying to others is nothing at all; lying to our inner self, to me, is horrible. But one point i realize is, many people do not realize that they are lying. If one realize a lie is sprouting, there one will feel the tension of struggles; if we allow this lies to blossom into hard thorns, we'll then get prick and bleed.

When i mention lying, is not purely just verbal; rather the whole general behavior, speech, pattern of thoughts and action of a person. 
Many, plenty of us don't mean what we say;
don't say what we mean;
don't act upon what we've said;
and every prong goes into opposing direction.
And this person portray as UN- RE-LIAR-BLE.

And the Best Liar Academy Award goes to, one who is so comfortable seeping into the role of a liar, lead the life of a liar, and take his lies as his truth.

The Filtration System

This morning on the way to a class, my sleepy eyes was still dry, shoved myself into a cab and prepare to catch up a little more sleep on the road. The cab uncle started chatting, and i replied in short. and he talked more; complaining about how hard his life was, and wish he could have more money and live like a rich man. Who literally told me that having an LV bag will surely make him a happier man.
Reassuring that his view was right, he sort of pressing me to agree with him.
By that time, i woke up completely, and disagreed with him politely... and we had a good morning discussion.

Given the same situation one year ago, i would have flare up ridiculously... or feel that fire burning in my stomach ( which i've no idea why). I used to wonder, why would people ever thread on these thoughts, is that all what they see, is that all what they care? The kind of clothes, shoes, bags, fashion, house, activity, food...And i always find myself debating and into arguments. Because i don't understand, i can't see the big picture of the operation of life--- i see only mine.

Slowly, i am learning, to see things with many different angles. This morning situation has again made me ponder upon some thoughts.We are like a bunch of sands, stones and rocks--- being put on a filtration system. After we past through the first layer, we need to make our way through the second, and the subsequent filters. Some stays on the first layer, while some has already experience through multiple filtering. In order to pass through the layers, we have to create friction, break ourselves into small particles and continue the journey.

We are all born at a different level of filtration layer. I was caught in one of the layers, and assuming that is only one.Till i stepped out and realize i was also going through filtering in just one of the multiple layers of the whole system.

The uncle sees other happiness and sees only his sorrows, thinking that others' happiness can make him happy. I told him, he is smiling when he told me about his family; if he magnify this moment of his life, he is a happy man:) 

Picking a third language- Hindi

I've got a long bucket list! With greatest gratitude my fellow friends, they make it possible for me to strike off my unfulfilled list of desires. Starting this year, i decided to pick up a third language- Hindi. Friends who knows me aren't surprise ( given that i've been travelling to India); families who do not understand me got a jaw- dropping moment.
That's no particular reason why Hindi; or maybe there are many reasons. Planning to explore the other parts of the country other than just Mysore, i reckon a third language should give me a good helping hand.

I seriously want to learn it well and proper. So, i prayed desperately, to get a good teacher ( because every person who post on the site, will say that they are the best. and we all know that most are lies;) ). When i went into this page, this particular name flashed in my face, we emailed and fixed a schedule--- and my hindi teacher is Anuradha... who i see her twice every week.
Basically, because i met an Anu in Mysore, who is a super nice lady. And Anu now sets a very good impression in my head. I thought, this Anu should be good as well. 

Tah- dah! My prayer was sort of answered, our Hindi sessions is going well, till today.
I did not expect that i have to learn how to write! Sort of being forced to cursive my way through the letters and matras. Glad i am surviving well..haha!

In busy time, it can be quite tiring to digest those rules & guidelines of the languages ( Hindi has got so many rules! everything has got masculine and feminine... and its driving me crazy..), but i still look forward to every lesson with her. What's more interesting is that her daughter is a yoga teacher too! We chat and shared about health, life, food ( turned out her family is a vegetarian)...;)

Coming from a Chinese background, i am grateful to be able to know how to write Chinese character the proper way. As i see in today's modern way of learning, students read Chinese article using han yu pin yin method, and not even knowing how to write strokes of the character proper.
That makes me more willing to grill through the scratches in the Hindi class, doing the groundwork.

If you're looking to pick up Hindi like me, check Anu's out:
http://shabd-fun-with-hindi.blogspot.com/

महान है!

Supta Kumasana teaches me a huge lesson: Left leg first

My first impression of getting into supta kurmasana was pretty much wanting to throw a white flag. Kurmasana was fine, but supta kumasana... impossible! No way i can squeeze myself under a locked ankles,  gripping my fingers, wishful thought. Just trying to get into the position in that few seconds, i'm already pouring with sweat.

Then, i check up on the YouTube, and found an alternative way, by sitting up and getting one leg up to the back of the neck, then the other leg up. So, i started with the easier side--- bring my right leg up. Many times, still couldn't make it; for one year... finally i got myself bounded and breathing comfortably. I was elated of course, oh... finally supta kumasana seems to happen on me too!

When i went to Frankfurt in a practice with teacher Olivia, she told me, " Left leg up first." I looked at her with my eyes- wide opened, and i attempted. Oh No! I fell and rolled all over, and teacher Olivia came to help me each time i attended her practice. 

Back in Singapore, while in a practice program with teacher Kino Macgregor, she said the same thing, " The tradition is, left leg up first." My heart sunk. No that i'm sad, just that i thought all my one whole year of effort has been erase, and i've to start all over again. Just like, if you've always been writing with your right hand, and now you have to write with your left. 

Just the whole process, seems to be taking too much effort!

During my own self- practice, when reaching supta kumasana, 80% of me wanting to go back to what i used to do ( right leg up first), doing the easier way. 20% of me is reminding me of practice with integrity, doing the proper way. And so, i learn to take a few steps back, and work on the pose again.

Shirly, my working partner is facing the same issue as i am. Once we sat down over a coffee, and started whining about struggling with the same things we had struggled. Done with the complaints, and starts cracking... that's part of our learning of practice with fluidity. 

That's yoga, isn't it? When we thought we can only stand on our both feet, it teaches you how to stand on the hands. When we starts to get comfortable with rigidity, something will knock over us to remind us that life is full of unpredictable waves. Surf on it!

If you have no clue , or picture the pose ( supta kumasana) i was talking about, this (photo) is it:

With courtesy, image from this link: http://mayalassiter.com/2012/04/david-garrigues-rocks-durham-with-a-mysore-intensive-and-weekend-workshop/supta-kurmasana/

Time to do some massive weeding!

" A man sows a seed and after many years it sprouts. In the meantime, he has forgotten he had sown the seed. In this way, we go on missing everything, every moment that when it is time to reap, we look for reasons to justify the consequence. What suffering!!!"

I read this on Facebook, posted by my teacher, Master Paalu two weeks ago. Till today, i'm still pondering about it.  

Sometimes in split moments, i wonder whether if its really good to continue the practice, i seems to have been more troubled than i used to be. It seems that i've been self- digging too much, and struggle to handle when i see so much more work is pouring out within me. 

Being always thought that i'm one of the most chilled- out girl in the family or even among friends, oh... actually i've so much of distress and anger well- hidden. And as i read the above post, all the drowning i'm filling now is probably the seeds i've sowed years before, but i've choose to erase it.. i thought i'd, apparently there's no such thing as "delete" button in life... and i see it sprouting.

I see those seeds sprouting into weeds that tries to fight to live in my garden. I am going to weed all of you off! That's probably what i am trying to do now, weeding... and its darn tiring!

I remembered vividly in the class, my teacher said, " don't anyhow go spread your seeds anywhere...". I took it as a joke, literally. Now, i understand. 

Tending our own backyard of flowers are not enough, we need to attend to the weeds too. By un- rooting them, we allow space for the good seeds to bloom flower and bear fruits with sweetness. In the practice of discrimination power viveka, i understand that there are things i can grow, and there are things i need to clear them off. Within that frustration or annoyance that my bad seeds i've sown is threatening the growth of my beautiful garden, i transform this anger into the sacred fire tapas, the zeal to weed them personally. 

And this really put a big test on my patience and faith. However long it is going to take, i'll do it.

Living a life without the fear of being ourselves

Ever since i started to explore the holistic industry, and allowing it to integrate into my life, i've never stop feeling grateful for who i am today. Being in touch with the yogic teachings in my early 20s, always wonder what's had i done previously and what's is that force that i manage to travel to this point. 

At that age, a stage where many of us are entering into the society, and along the way trying to find an identity or create our own identity, so that we can start working on our sort called " career". 

Along the way, i met people with many working experience sharing their part of perceptions. One particular idea i always had people telling me is " When in Rome, do what the Romans do" or things like " if others are doing it, its OK to do it... they are Politically right...", and my next question in my head will pop up, " even when its not morally connect to your principles..? Where do you stand?"

I was living in that buzzy grey area of who's right... and who should i follow? Or was it an excuse for wanting to commit an act, that they are fearful to do it alone but brave enough to do it with many people. I asked many questions, many. I read books, articles, discuss them with my friends and hoping searching for some enlightenment from my teacher.

Through those un- coding my own puzzles, i've do have a clearer view in guiding myself. We have the power to be who we really are, we don't have to borrow or rely on others to be powerful. There in us, is a hidden strength that we fail to see, therefore search and see the strength of others; taking reference to their action as ours. 

To each, we have our own view. Thus the decision lies in our hand, the responsibility we have in molding our life. 

This particular blog post is awesome for living a life without the fear of  being ourselves: 

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/06/06/10-enemies-of-personal-greatness/#more-454 

 

 

Want to hear my chatter today's practice?

I woke up early morning today, realizing that it was my Moon Day. So i swapped the usual practice to pranayama. The sun was not out yet, i opened the window to let some morning air in. I sat down on my half- rolled mat, adjusting myself for a comfortable position... and started practice.

I'm not sure if its really the weather was getting hot and humid these days, or is it me. I could practically feel my body temperature rising, and tiny beads of sweat forcing their way our my pores. Ohh my god, its getting hot... should i turn on the fan? hmm... better not... it'll get too noisy with the mechanic turning. Alright, let's just stay on.

Then, i heard my neighbor's alarm clock, beeping so loudly... repeatedly.. continuously. Gosh! Its still early for work, why does he set the alarm at such time. Each beep is like hitting on my red button. There goes my quiet morning. Ok, will you please at least wake up to turn it off...! Come on, lets  listen to the nice ujjayi breaths instead, the beeping went further and softer.

Cheep cheep cheeeeep! Oh, what's... the birds are awake now?! If you are hungry, go look for worms elsewhere...  by chirping your lungs out will not get the worm flying into your mouth. Worms don't fly, remember? Oh, now you've woken the cats... i suggest you birdies to get your morning meal somewhere, else you'll become a breakfast set.

Ok, i still have my breathing practice to go on. Nice... lastly that's the only thing i want to listen to. My own breathing. The only thing i was to get in tune with, and slowly i felt inside my head it goes into a relax mode. Almost like getting a high on caffeine ( will not forget getting high on Vietnamese mocha last week, not recommended to drink before work...).
My body got cooler slowly and my legs was totally numb... i couldn't be bothered to move it, let it be.
Behind my close lids, i could see the rising sun... from darkness to light.

Breathing practice to me, has been always a test of my patience and tolerance. Because by regardless anything that is happening outside the window, however much i want to peep and look... i know that i have my own work to attend to.  Yes, theoretically we say that a practice is beautiful when its smooth sailing, and undisturbed.

But practically, a practice is more beautiful when there's attempts of disturbance, distractions and verge of giving all up. It is more amazing, when we have the ability to draw strength from within, pull  ourselves back into place and enjoy the rest of the ride.

Its a good morning practice, still!

Talking about Rights...ya right.

Sometimes, i don't get it. Pardon me, why are we fighting for problems that are created by us?

Whenever i read about fighting for rights, any sort... it amuses me. 

The existence of human rights was due to the imbalance treatments among the human race, by us the human beings.

The existence of animal rights was due to the unethical treatments to the animals, by us the human beings.

The existence of environmental rights was due to the improper treatment to the nature resources of the habitat that we all are living in, by us the human beings.

Sometimes i thought: What is wrong with us?

Tracking back down to our own race, our allowance of identifying ourselves with differences is stirring whirlpool among us, and breaking us apart. And because we are being treated unequally, we impose this negativity feeling onto animals and the environment. Transferring of emotions. The vicious cycle of " an eye for an eye"... and Gandhi added brilliantly " makes the whole world blind". 

We are really a contradicting group. When half the world is trying to save, the other half happily destructing. When a part of us is in line with our soul, the other part if against it. 

When there is indiscipline ego inflating, there is hunger for power. With power using on others abusively, it creates hatred on the end party. With hatred, drafts a revenge plan. This revenge plan filled with hatred and hunger of power is then used on defenseless animals--- that creates lots of fears in the brink of struggles to death. And in the end, the flesh of the animals enter the human mouths... swallowing their own revenge plan and tummy filled with hatred and fear. Where's the rights?

This is how i see.