Intense practice with dispassion

Sometimes we do wonder, why some people can be so successful in their own way? And we do look up to them with admiration.
With these two qualities they carry with them all the while: Abhyasa ( Intense practice) & Viragya ( Dispassion).

Abhyasa or Intense Practice...
There are people who want to get involve in many many things, hope to broaden their opportunity of success. There are people who just specialize in an area, and work to be the best in that skill.

With Abhyasa, one work with full focus, undistributed & undisturbed mind, regardless of external environment, the intensity of inner practice is still firm. Unwavering trust of oneself, not bothered by criticizer's expectations.This involves strong self- discipline, not giving in to temptations for short happiness--- because one knows that there's a prolonged joy awaiting.

With this, Viragya or Dispassion has to be around...
There are people work towards an expectation and results. Therefore, having excitement and disappointment.
There are people who work in perfecting the present moment, without grabbing onto the end result. Therefore, having joy in all that the work provides.

If in doing something comes with a certain expectation or intention, the result of the work will surely affect us. The quality of the work will then be dependent on the expectation.
In performing an act without an intention, one would learn how to take failure and success equally as life lessons. Dispassion in working, does not involve in the mind of analyzing. It involve fully the heart of awareness in enjoyment.

Live without a ruler

Isn't how hilarious how we can be?

There are some issues we disagree, based on our criteria. And there are things we support, because we are doing it too.
As the years go by, our inner benchmark changes, our criteria of certain behaviors changes--- what we used to disagree, we may now agree with it. What we used to be so supportive of, has become a taboo.

After all, a bench mark is just a guide. We can stick to it religiously or going beyond it, and i say--- eventually we can remove this criteria. Living according to rule and regulation only shows that we're not able to stand independently on our own.

Just like a child can be really good and obedient by with his parents around. And wild and crazy when she's he's away from home. She's/ He's behaviors is dependent on the fear from his parents, and because she/ he loves them. But when she's  he's else somewhere, everything flips over.

And the criteria shifts from here to there. Disallows to allows.

I've always got nagged at for wearing black by my mum, but i still wear them day in day out. And when the time  she's going to wear something black, she suggested that the color is fine for certain events.

And soon, release the benchmark, if they are going to keep shifting, it loses function. 

Tough love with Ashtanga

One may sends a shiver down the spine whenever Ashtanga Vinyasa is mentioned. Many hold an idea that Ashtanga as a powerful and almost unattainable practice. Some say its even close to "military yoga" or "yoga for the warriors".

Though the first series is name " Yoga Chikitsa"--- as a " Therapeutic" practice, its not physically slow and gentle; however the process and the effect is focusing on detoxifying. 

Fire element plays a important role here. Whether its toxins, stress or fats--- we need to boost up the fire inside the body to create intense heat, to remove the impurities--- that's why the practice is very sweat pouring.

Many people are surprised by the refresh feeling after the practice:)

Whether you're a pure beginner or been practicing for sometimes, its doesn't matter! Yoga practices always offer modification. Its a matter of courage of even stepping on the mat. The thing is many people have heard and read about it, and are already frightened--- which they haven't even try it!

When i was in Mysore, there were total pure beginners at the last row attempted the series. The gurus ( who speaks little English) tried to get them into the pose, " You.. Left up, leg up, this one, right go back, hold.... 1..2...3....breath!.4...5"

Thumps up for their courage! 

Ashtanga Vinyasa touches me as a practice of " tough love"---- towards myself and others. 

There's times when its really difficult and dragging, and times when its smooth sailing; but no chance for any doubt that the practice is going to be harmful; and i just have to get through it to be stronger.

Equilibrium in duality.

Dissolves your Dreams

Today, he suggested: How do you know you're not in your dream right now? Your eyes are open doesn't mean much that you're in a real world. That probably the dream you're having in your sleep is your real world instead?  You also see, hear, smell, feel, speak... so which is real?

Something hit me a little... How come i never thought of this before? So, where am i?
Nothing is real, we're living in dream... always... until we're awake.

I thought its sort of like the movie " Inception". We plant a seed, deep but nothing will grow if we don't do anything to it. The seed will just remain in there. When we started to grow them, the seed turns into roots, and something grows.

Whether or not, everyone of us has dreams in different world. Some people say " Live your dreams"....
But i say " Dissolve your dreams"

Living your dream sort of telling us to keep fantasizing them, a little too futuristic. When we start to dissolve our dreams, means that we are already making it happen, and the dream is here, in the present. Focusing your energy right here, not the past memories and not the virtual future.

When we start killing our dreams, we're living.

The first indication that we are killing our dreams 

is the lack of time.

The second indication of the death of our dreams

is certainty.

The third indication that our dreams are dead

is peace.

~ The Pilgrimage

When fairy god- mother turned into a witch.

I got to know this recent news from my sis from the paper; which i guess it is also one news that concerns many parents. A student got raped by a school counselor. And later, she committed suicide in the school.

Not to jump into any assumption, but i find it a little too appalling.
A fairy god-mother, that a little girl thought she can seek help from... has turned into a witch. A counselor, who has probably lost touch with his reasons of stepping into this area, have been engulfed by his growing desire. Taking advantage of his superior position, to feed his own hunger.

How greed can turn someone ugly, just in one snap of finger.

I don't usually give a second glance on news, but this news probably caught my attention. I remembered today in the morning class, my teacher was just touching on a topic something in relation to " a person" and " a person in a job".

Its not so about how proper we play our role in our job position, scope and industry--- its very much about what and who we are as a person, on and off the job; our moral values and the way we get our things done.

I (never) learn my lessons.

Have you ever felt this way too? That finding yourself getting caught in the same situation again and again.
And wondering why certain things keep coming back to you?

I am one soul who never seem to learn from any lessons, until i decided to own it. I do find myself hilarious--- bumped straight into the wall, fell, cry, stood up.... and bump into the wall, fell.....
Just like trying to get balance in a headstand.. numerously falls... until one point---i've got  enough! And then, i start to access the causes of all these stuff.

Simply because, we tend to rely on our past, and keep applying old solution to the new problems, to make decision of our future. And of course, its whole lot of a big lesson to jump out of this cycle, that's leading us to nowhere--- but from past to future to past to future to past......never ending.

When we're ready to put in tough effort, it can surely be a whole new situation we'll be in. If we want to.

TTC: A gateway to the teaching industry?

Must there be a reason to do something? Maybe, maybe not.

Its so interesting that some asked about whether going through the teacher training course will guarantee them a job position later. Honestly, i don't know. A certification from the course can be a gateway to another path, but the sustainability of this journey is questionable.

However much i may support their initial step to this path, even luring them... may be also pushing them into the fire. In the opposite, its always good to have a head start somehow, somewhere... the question is: What are you working for if you're in the course?

I've met a good handful of them going through the course not working for the certification, but more intangible reasons.
Just for a simple reason, so that they can be the teacher of themselves, keep-up the well-being of the other side of their life ( besides their work) for a wholesomeness and well being... in order to keep doing the things they like to do.

Taking up teacher training course does not means a acute change in our career or work. It can be, if the interest is there. Otherwise, it is a gateway of life.

1 December 2011

Yesterday i received a letter offering a renewal of Satya Yoga.
I text Shirly to inform her, and she replied, " Wow! that's fast... time flies!".
On 1 December, officially stepping into our fourth year.

Yes indeed, i did not realize it until the letter came. Everything seems like we've just started Satya Yoga only yesterday; that we just graduated from the training course, stepping into a new world afresh.
Starting from the point of chomping bread and biscuits, flip flopping down the streets and Starbucking with Shirly over green tea lattes... till today.

Ever since, most of my time are around people of older in age, more experiences in the society and wiser in life. Whether i do feel old or otherwise, i am learning so much from them, and more to come...:)

I probably is missing a big portion of " fun time" with my friends; because i am indulge in the other part of " joy".
These has help in keeping me more grounded than i thought.

Today, i learnt that to travel in space instead of time, marks the quality of our work, our days and ourselves.
Though i am not ambitious, i do have big dreams!

Learning your own lessons, yourself.

My recent heading back to the philosophy sessions by master paalu has been keeping my head busy. The same yoga sutra was taught three years ago and today... still amazes me. Indeed, they are heavy stuff--- lots of processing going on, till i got into a slight headache. Nevertheless, its real juicy!

The verses draw out so much more lessons today; very much was because i started knowing the sutra like a blank canvas back then--- today, i learnt how to apply them and take references from my past experiences.

Each time i revisit them, its like peeling layers and layers to uncover a deeper meaning of the collection--- and i believe there's still so much more to dig into, like a bottomless pit!

Sometimes, i thought i knew them--- but i don't know them.
At very random time... like sitting on a train ride, walking down the street or even people- watching while lazing in a cafe--- suddenly at one point, i see something i never could figure out-- i knew it!
A sudden of excitement gushes up, i could not quite know how to explain it.

Paulo Coelho penned it beautifully in his recent book " Aleph":

" The first thing you feel is terrible desire to cry, not out of sadness or happiness but out of pure excitement.
You know that you're understanding something you can't even explain to yourself."

The most precious lesson is when its learnt by yourself, that's not even able to verbalize. Because true lesson is mute, it wants you to live them, not speak them.

I am jobless and happy!

I've people coming up to me wanting to know what made me want to do what i am doing now--- or rather a career switch. i do feel good when someone made an effort to ask this question.

Not because that i am aloft of achieving my current role ( yes, i am proud of what i am doing, but that's not the entire reason); but because they discover this desire to make a leap for themselves too--- i am just mirroring their burning desire.

Of course, i am always happy to share with them:)

Very simply--- " i don't like to wear formal attire and walk in high heels." I can't imagine myself doing the things i dislike daily. 

To rephrase the whole idea of doing what i used to do/ study--- instead of a career change, i just booted myself out from a job. There's a huge difference between job hops, career changes and... jobless. A career change may means jumping from one hole to another, still doing a job. 

I did not make any career change, i choose not to work in a job, because i want to live the way i wanted to. Neither a job nor a career. If ever i feel that i am working in a job, i am not living. 

Teaching classes come to me as weekly gathering for information sharing. Appointments comes to me as meeting up with friends. Personal yet professionally done. 

If you are reading this post, and pondering over a plan for a step forward to colorful days, its time to do something for yourself; else, don't complain about how badly life has been treating you! 

Honestly, i had my struggles and waves of fear hovering over me at one point--- all i did was to grip hold on faith tightly. ( not forgetting my teacher who showed me that there's such thing as "faith".)

If you're reading this post, and you're one of those great warriors who went through this roller coaster for a happier day, i believe we'll bump into one another someday. 

If you believe in the things you are doing, allow the people around you to grow with you...

To touch the lotus feet

Back to practice in my teachers' class, its just that something that i'd been always wanted to do yearly. Be it that this has become a yearly routine that i fits into my schedule book---  its something i want to do it for my own learning journey.

Ever since i'm out about teaching, most of my practices has been done at home. I do miss attending yoga classes, just being a student, listening to instruction and practice. I do miss adjustments ( because no one at home knows how to do it)--- instead of gentle touches, i prefer good -tight- pack ones.

Today, i'm back to that cozy studio along the stretch of shop houses in Arab street, just for practices.

In most time i am standing in the role of a teacher; for now, i want to take a switch in place to be the student. Once my teacher said that eventually, the student has to be on their own to learn; but until when this time really arrives.... i am still savoring my time being a student.

There're too many flourishing facilities oriented yoga spaces in city like Singapore.
I like it Masala- style. Just like those shalas in India. No chair, no air-con, no sofas. Carry your own mat, flip it on the ground, chat with the teacher and practice.

The teacher, the learners, the lessons.

We do not need to know "how" or "where",

but there is one question that we should all ask

whenever we start something:

" what am i doing this for?"

~ The Valkyries

 

Departure is Arrival

When time is up, people have to leave.

Sometimes with a bid goodbye;

sometimes they rushed off.

Its not the end of their journey yet, just moving on to the next phrase of life.

Be happy for them, for embarking towards a new journey.

Every death born a birth.

Every end starts a beginning.

Every dusk brings a dawn.

Every cry carries a joy.

Its a cycle we can't see, but we can witness.

We're either standing here, or there.

Stand neither here nor there;

Step away and see this as a whole.

Like every sleep, we travel towards awakening.

Moan if we must to get through our selfishness 

of not letting them go.

Set freedom to death for a new living.