"Constructivity". Constructive Activity.

It had just passed midnight, and my plan to sleep was a flop. I just got myself a body scrub of ground coffee & coconut oil, i am wide awake if the caffeine is working through my skin pores right now. 

From my bedroom window, i can still hear my local neighbours having a serious conversation for the past one hour, and still going strong... The dogs in our neighbourhood seems like having a gang-meeting every night howling their trash out...( i'm adjusting to it).

Cheers to Moon day tomorrow, i can afford to stay up late. 

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone that time is lost by itself? That's probably the most beautiful moment that i appreciate. I call this moment of vacuum--- tick-tocking loses its presence, and everything we are engaging in is simply in the present. 

For this, i have to agree with Mitch Albom "  I prefer clocks broken." in his book The Time Keeper. 

Constructive engagements.

This is probably my intention for this trip to Mysore. 

For sure i am different person today, as compared to who i was when i first came to Mysore in 2009.

As Sharath mentioned in one of his yoga conference, " Everyone comes to Mysore with different reasons and intentions." I agree. 

My underlying intentions in each trip i made changes as i grow over the years. 

Earlier, it was more of exploration, fun and exciting. This time, i feel different--- i want to laser beam into my practice and learning to be appreciative with the whole experience and the relationships i build here. 

I become selective for whatever i am putting my energy into. 

Constructive engagements i call.

Activities and conversation that may grow me into a better person than i am now. 

Share with me something that i don't know, i'm interested to know. 

Yes, i do meet some great people here who build conducive relationships to create positive ripples. Some practice yoga, and quite a big handful do not--- something that i really love about. 

You can't be without people. You can't be with people~ Sadhguru 

I'm very pro to the idea of being able to invest some time alone for ourselves. 

That's the time when most external distractions quieten down, the silence seeps into us and we listen to our own voice. 

I'm a people person but first i learn to check out what kind of person i am---- 

That happens when i spend enough time knowing myself.

Because, i do not wish to having friends as being each other hole-fillers. 

I prefer friendships and relationships that nurture one another a better person that we first met:)

If i am the author of my life, which i am.

If life is a book , what story will yours be?

If i am the author of my life, which i am;
I want my book to be un-catagorised.
In some pages that will be words;
Other pages contain photos, pictures and drawings.

If i am the author of my life, which i am;
In those words that hold timeless messages, that can be read and re-read many times through generations.
There, i will pen down some silly moments that can lift up some spirits.

If i am the author of my life, which i am;
With collections of travelogues as encouragement to explore the world of foreign lands;
Not forgetting a life-long exploration of the inner world, that is utmost important.

If i am the author of my life, which i am;
It would not be a dictionary.
There may not have the most interesting stories, but surely not the boring ones.

If i am the author of my life, which i am;
I shall be the one holding the pen, and writing it from now.
Down the years, i would then be able to read those stories to my children and grandchildren;
Not a day the stories i shall be sharing is the same, every moment is different.

3rd Week in Mysore: In & About

Days kind of glide pass quickly, and its already my 3rd week in Mysore. What's the best thing i do without--- watch. 

Back home, i could throw quick glances at times from various places--- my watch ( if i'm wearing on on that day), the clock on my mobile, the clocks in the train station and the digital ones on the screen.

I literally could feel " chasing after time".

For the past 3 weeks, besides keeping track of the strict schedule of my yoga practice at the shala--- i basically breeze through my days feeling " on time all the time"--- vinyasa---- everything in synchronisation. 

Growing up in a bustling small city, it took me about 1 week to settle in for the many " waiting" moment. Waiting: to get a mat space ( 1- 1.5 hrs), for the food, for the electricity to power up ( they had improved, power trips in less now).... which did took a while for my patience to settle in. 

This trip, less of " Out & About"... rather more of " In & About".

Why make so much effort to Mysore when i could have get my practice done back home?
I have to say, because it does make a huge difference. If you have been to Singapore, you may have experience how overwhelming distractions can be.

I'm still on a long road of the learning journey, i'm brutally honest that my absorption ability is greatly limited.
Injecting myself into the community in Mysore for short-term, carrying an intention to travel further and deeper into the other untouched corner of my inner world.

Does it worth the effort making a trip to Mysore, while stopping the flow of income and comfort?
Why do yoga,  its way too difficult? The practice is demanding, the poses are crazy... why bother doing it?

Those who were seen dancing 

were thought to be insane by

those who could not hear the music.

I particularly love this sentence by Friedrich Nietzsche. For we who understood, do not bother to further explain. For those who don't understand, any explanation would be redundant. 

Life is just self-explanatory. We don't talk through it, we experience. 

We don't choose either the easy or difficult task. We choose to do the right thing.

Picking the right thing neither necessarily is challenging nor easy--- its taking the next step that creates ripples of love ( not fear). 

I was reading this page by Malcolm Gladwell--- while he was exploring the idea of " desirable difficulties."  

In it, he mentioned that " to overcome a hurdle, we will overcome it better when we are force to think a little harder."

Whether we are talking about the " disgustingly challenging" poses planted through the whole yoga sequence; or in life...

When we spend a little more effort and a little more time for a moment, we are receiving better chance of making a right choice for ourselves. 

We have all the time in the world to do the things we find meaning in doing.

We've no time to spare for the things we don't connect with. 

I guess in the relativity of time, we all experience this... always. Don't you?

Staying within mat space.

On our second week in Mysore, we started the week with LED class. The thought of heading to a LED class in the shala can gets my adrenal pump up the night before. I was discussing with Shirly the time we need to get out of the house, with an intention to get comfortable spot to practice ( i wouldn't use the word " good spot").

We headed out while the AM is still dark, and joined the small crowd sitting in further up closer to the door. Still good, we are probably at the 3rd tier, enough to get into the main practice area.

Going to a LED class in Mysore to me resembles attending a rock concert. The gate opens, everyones rushed in during the transition from the previous class. It was pretty crazy, expect that the noise was kept to the minimum--- the action surely didn't justify it. 

Mat to mat? Oh yeah, sometimes even mat overlapping mats. If we got considerate neighbours...great! 

Having that mutual awareness for the presence of one another ( left, right, front & back)--- no fret about having feet zooming into the face ( which i got it today) or getting some kicks during practice. 

If Mysore style class is more about getting into a focused and undisturbed practice-- in an environment of distractions ( people moving up and down, doing different stuff of their own practice);

Then Led class would be more about expanding that awareness to the surrounding while still keeping in the game. David Swenson once said, " Whatever it is, stay within your mat space---Asteya/ non-stealing."

I am used to extending my arms from the side and upwards. But when i came here, i can't--- i mean... i can still extend my arms sideways like i used to...

That means the chances of slapping my neighbours are there too. 

So, i changed my habit to suit the environment while still keeping up with the flow.

Some people may start comparing the level of comfort of the practice from the studios where they come from and here in Mysore. 

All i can say is... everything here, is part of the practice too--- its comes in a whole package!

Its India, just enjoy!

Learning through un-expectation.

Expectation, is kind of like screwdriver.
That incarnate the capability to screw up our learning progression.

Everyone of us has got different palm size, we can only hold that much handful at any one time. However, we tend to take others' palm size and bench marked it against what we have.
That expectation, screwed us up.

We see things that is unreal, yet we think its real.
Making a fuss of what didn't happened, forgoing a chance to appreciate what already we have.
Thinking about the non-exisstential of the past & future that we can't get hold of anyway;
Why not experience whatever is given in our hands of the present moment?

In the past, i used to believed being having a positive outlook in any situations. I decided to drop the idea of being positive. Not that i'm total against this concept, but it didn't really serve the root purpose at the end of the day, really.

We could keep persuading ourselves into being positive, standing behind that lens doesn't solve the root issue on the other side. Isn't it a kind of delusion too?

Isn't those two are a kind of expectation set by others' which could be very subjective to each?

Instead of see-sawing between negative & positive, why not break those lens of delusion and come sense with the reality?


With perspective--- learning through un-expectation, maybe?

A promise to myself.

I guess, my new year started when i stepped into Mysore few days back! 

So, happy new year to me!

It's sure a good feeling that i've realised that i'm happier not living closely to the timeline and calendars--- instead, i do appreciate better when i live in moments and episodes. 

Before coming into India, my friend Daniel asked me if i've done the things i wanted for the year---

for the first time, i can totally dive into a big YES! All the things i'd been longing to fulfilled, i've done so.

I also made a little promise to myself, if given a chance to re-enter the same situation that i didn't handled well in the past--- i would want to take the chance to bridge whatever i acquired on the mat to make any relationships a little sweeter this time. 

" Leave the world a better place than you first entered."--- that's my motto for the year.

When i used to have conflicts with my family especially--- i found myself constantly has to fight my way to get their full understanding of me. However, i do realised eventually was that--- i just simply didn't understand myself enough to understand them. 

Instead of leaving the gap between my daily practice on the mat and my actual life-- i want to nurture a supportive nexus within myself, and moving forward to create a more harmonising connection with the people in my life. 

My piece of world is much bigger than i thought, than i can perceived. 

It has been working well for me so far, getting my friends and family involved in the activities that i wanted to do; gave me a good chance as an invitation to a part of my world--- and they showed me theirs--- each our planet expands a little through sharing. 

There are people who appreciates me;

and there are people who depreciates me.

We all have a choice to be who we want to be with. 

Coming to Mysore was not a snap it easy choice--- its a seed that i decided to plant it and grow towards the blossoms throughout the year. 

This time, i felt really appreciative towards how my parents started to be a little supportive than the past trips, getting understanding from students for respecting the importance for a teacher to study---

all this little things do settle my emotions quicker than before. 

How do i feel being back in Mysore? Cosy home feeling. 

Just within couple of days here, its been such a good offer to meet i call them 

 " off the track" people--- folks may not know what they really really want right now, keeping themselves off the track opens up many opportunities and possibilities.

We share our stories, and our world expands a little:)