Body over Mind

Pain. If not, extreme pain.
That's probably one way we get to learn our own lesson.
As the intensity of the pain increases, so does fear. Vice versa, as fear grows, so does pain.

Sometimes, when we get just a little pain, maybe a bruise; we just thought we can handle it. But when an intense pain attacked us unprepared, that's when we start to learn our own lesson. Not because of the pain, its the shock, the fear that traumatized us in our memories--- the experience, the feeling, the nightmare.

We like to gamble, with our health. No matter what others had said, or how they'd advice--- we trust only our "gut feeling" that our health will never let us down. Our ego-mind kept telling us that the body is the servant, and we are the boss.
So one day, our health exploded with anger and decided to go on strike.

And now, we're plunged to the level of survival.

Some spices, some curries, some masala!

I discovered a meditation method for myself called--- cooking. And this can be done so in a studio--- kitchen!

Kitchen at home has got limited entry, under the supervision of the family top chef--- my mama.
But here, i get to enjoy this corner most of the time:)

Lingering in such cool weather for a while, i  had this cravings for curries, masala, spices...
and given the limited choice of greens in the supermarket, glad to whip up something.
Easy to prepare, cook, eat and wash!

Masala Eggplant
I jumped a little for joy when i dug out a pack of  Masala in the kitchen. Oh great! masala masala... what am i going to do with you...?
An excitement pricked me when i saw eggplant in the while marketing. I grabbed on to the check out, without knowing what i'll do about it later. So, this was what happened to the eggplant...

Some eggplants, little carrot stripes
some minced ginger, a dash of oil
good handful of masala mix, and heat!
salt, maybe?









Cooking can be really addictive. The fulfilling part is when the choice that so so so limited; yet at the end of the day, something good still appear on the dishes!
I've got a nickname from my family--- Food hunter. My mum never has to worry about me getting hungry, or not eating-- because i don't, haha!
So, to live up to my name of a food hunter, started my mission of making Indian food possible here!
Next dish up....

Curried Mixed Roots 

Throw in dices of carrot & potato; 
turn up the heat & sprinkle some oil;
get them do some Tango in the pan till their body soften;
Get spicy if curry mix, ginger and salt.
Invite couple of kidney beans; and shove all of them to the plate
Spiced up leeks & potato
I see leeks everywhere, anywhere. Its their season!
One huge stalk of leek, makes a good pot of soup:)

Let those big sweet onion popped in heat;

some aloo, some carrot, many leeks;

few rounds of merry-go-round in the pot, as we stir;

cool them down with a bowl of water;

turn the heat up, and wrap the game up with 

pepper or salt to your preference!

Guten Apetit!

Living in the numbness of fear. The Crow did not fly today.

For such long time, and still I'm thinking--- what which point, what factor that trigger us to learn and move forward?
Instead, today i explored the other end of thought--- what trigger us not want to learn; at which point that we decided not want to move any step further?

Sure that there are many factors, and one of them is fear.
I have many, so many that did not even realize their existence. This morning in practice, i met one of them.
I was on this transition of jumping from downward facing dog to a crow pose.

Teacher Olivia instructed, " jump FORWARD".
That split second when i see my face so close to the floor, the feet landed and stopped me from moving forward. That's pretty frustrating.
Many tries, it didn't happen today. Maybe tomorrow:)

After the class, i was thinking what was pulling me back? Fear of falling. The same feeling when my longest toes could not reach the ground on a bicycle in Germany.
Fears under suppression are ignored. Fears when exposed are a kind of discomfort.

Heard how people don't mind living within the border of fears;
Seen how people don't mind living in numbness of discomforts;
Met the operation of lives according to their fear, just to get that little satisfaction;
and they told me, " That's life".

My teacher, master Paalu once said, " Don't fight, we conquer". I always keep this with me.
I'm learning to stop avoiding and just looking those inner fears; instead to walk through them and shatter them into atom-size particles.

Acting upon fear is like drinking acid, eroding us from the inside out.
Pretty sure that i'm still sipping some acid down my throat, i'm cutting down the liters!

Late Arrival of Effects

Yesterday, i woke up earlier to get to the studio, so that i could practice a little longer before the class closes at 9am. After the primary series, when my body got really warmed and nice; all ready to continue the second series. I attempted half of the second series, and ended the practice for that day. No pain, no aches, wonderful! Energetic and good that lasted me throughout the day.

Today, i did the same. Woke up early, to the studio. I felt my battery level was running low; and i kept to practice just the primary series and finishes off to relaxation. After sipping down a pipping hot tea, i dragged myself home, and slumped down into a big nap!
The cold wind was not helpful, every gush of cool air, i stiff like a cane.

Along my spine is aching. My neck is sore. Shoulders are sore. Bum is sore. Arms are sore. In fact, everywhere is sore.
It could be from yesterday's; i did not work so hard today... i reckoned. I later pushed myself up, gulped down another hot drink... and ready for another appointment!

It's so interesting to understand that the effect of our action does not necessary result immediately. That does not always arrive at an expected time-- they just arrived late.

Some acts lead on to an immediately result, that we can see. Some acts has got slow effect that most of us do not acknowledge till it appear in full form. 

Spiritual practice, sounds pretty creepy?

Few people like the idea of talking open about spiritualism; many  flick it aside with no acknowledgement of its existence. I was too, its just sometimes too creepy to even experience it.
Later to realized, it was my fear of self- exposure.

An unwanted feeling of getting myself too exposed of myself. As spiritual practice goes along, we get in touch with both the beautiful and ugliness side of us. Layer by layer, we peel them off, as we travel deeper into the core of our nature self.

Every sheath that i peeled, i see a new identity--- that i was not aware of its presence. Every time a layer sheds, i meet someone new. Which sometimes comes to a point of one question, " who we actually are?". Till now, i can only answer to myself, " I don't know".
I'll greet each identity that revealed itself and bid goodbye as it expires.

I still believe that any self-development activities is very essential to all of us. For we learnt our lesson, neither by book knowledge nor past experiences. Not memories and not assumptions. Not from the mind and not by habits.

Spiritual development offers life lessons, by peeling layers of different identities with expectation that we held, holding and will be holding that are not us. Just like the snakes have to shed they old skin periodically  to grow. We too need to shed off our deluded sheaths through spiritual practices to grow and blossom, to mature.

Frankfurt: Ashtangis go where?

It is just amazing that how people from different regions, speaking different tongues, doing various daily activities; just coming together in a small room, with an understanding shared among so many doing the same practice--- The Mysore Style ( as we call it).
The way the mats are rolled out, the way we flow towards the same direction of postures and how beautifully the ujjayi breaths filled the room.

I popped into this yoga spot--- Ashtanga Yoga Shala Frankfurt
A shala not to be miss for any keen learners! Though they do offer various style of yoga classes, i popped into only for their Mysore classes:)

Its always good to be back on the mat. Just before i thought i was going to lost myself with the festive time, am back!
The cold wind and the freezing droplets does not matter anymore, just one thing in my head after i slapped myself awake from the dawn: just get to the studio!

Check this out: http://www.ashtanga-yoga-frankfurt.de/ashtanga-yoga.html