21 May 2015

We are not alone. So do you.

Here I am sitting at my favorite kind of table. Thick wooden. Angular and big.
The fact is that I’m only using a 1/10 of the whole piece. The remaining 9/10 is pretty relaxing to just look at.

But nope, I’m not at Starbucks. I'm caving in at a homely studio along East Coast Road. Much earlier before my class starts at 7pm.

Settling myself in to write or read something after a busy day since morning.

It was indeed a hot day today. I’ve taken too much train rides recently. I opted for the longer route by bus. Don’t know since when, I started to develop a habit of taking different options.

My bad sense of direction hasn’t been very helpful at all.  
All I can say is---
My duration of being walking up and down the same street has shortened. A little.

Bumpy bus ride. Body temperature went down gradually. My eyes were gazing at the passing streets.
At the back of my mind when passively alert, minimizing my chances of getting down at the wrong stop. The low buzzing engine was hypnotizing. I nearly dozed off.

Spacing out--- a heap of thoughts poured in…

I am not good enough.

Why my other friends seem to have perfect lives, but here I am being so unhappy about mine?

Why everyone looks so happy except me?

Why the others can have such a nice practice, but mine look so clumsy and messed up?

I’m not good enough.

But my dear students, how do you know?
Just how do you know that they are not?

How do you know how much effort they are putting in to manage the setbacks in life? The amount of effort they are putting in each of their practice?

We don’t know.
So stop. Just stop. 

Thus the justification of us victimizing ourselves is purely, a waste of time and effort. 
It’s zero helpfulness. Nothing.

Every one of us is carrying our own baggage of nonsense. Everyone.

Nobody don’t. We just like to pretend to be fine and happy all the time.

Every stranger we see on the street. If we speak to them long enough, you will know in this way--- we are indifference.
Once while I thought my problem was the biggest problem in the whole world.
Nobody would be experiencing that much pain than I did.

I was shamelessly wrong.

Next time if you feel like you have touched the dead-end.
Try this.
Hold your breath till you gasp.
There! This is life.

Where there is breath, there is life.
Where there is life, there is hope.

And so, every morning I wake up.
Learning to be grateful for being able to breathe at ease.

All others things that follow, is already a bonusJ

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