18 September 2013

Pain is real. Yes it is. I'll take it all.

Yesterday marked my first time injuring myself successfully during the practice. For 6 years, i've always been very careful about not stepping over the line. Finally, it happened.

I was exploring new movements, while battling to secure my right leg behind my neck... i heard a         " piak" ( just like a sound when you tear your pants). I was literally shock and froze in that awkward position for few second. Did i just heard something disgusting? I released my leg super slowly, while retreating myself to lay flat on my mat.

Gingerly, with every little movement, my mind started to scanned through if there's any sharp pain.
No. No pain at all.
Oh great, what now? What happened?  Did i tear some fibers? If i did, i should be crying right now. The droplets on my face were my sweat, not tears.
 Ironically, i still managed to complete my practice as usual, painless.
 But inside my heart i was praying, being hopeful that nothing too serious. I blamed myself for being so impatient and lack of awareness. Only couple of hours when i got home, i felt the swell birthing. Which then i managed to locate the exact piece of muscle : Anterior Tibialis.
Oh anterior tibialis, i don't think i'll ever forget about you again. Thanks for the attention!

I limped around the house, with an ice pack dangled around my knee;  felt really lousy.
While i was always thankful for my flexible- inclined body, i took it for granted and pushed it off the limit.

Doubtful, worried and scared, all are coming. My fear of getting injured had finally arrived.
Ok, what had happened.. had happened. Time to take responsible for it, and learn my lesson well!

While i've always heard and read about injuries by ashtanga teachers, it can come down to a long list. If you have seen the chart of just the Primary Series, you'll understand.
Which reminded me of how James nonchalantly told me its alright with the strained after the class. He probably been through much more. 

Sri K Pattabhi Jois once said, " Pain is real". Yes it is.

It reminded me that my body is made of flesh and blood. Tangibly, it will deteriorate as i age. That it is exposed to risk for the things i do and the environment I'm living in.

Pain makes me real, that i should never a second to spend living in my mind or imagination of a perfectly fine and healthy body.
This is what your real body has to offer you, take it.

While we assume everything has to be perfectly high up, something will pull us down. Nothing stays constantly up or constantly down. Just like the series in the Ashtanga method, some pose are easy breezy to handle, which one or two of them are a hard nut to crack.

It moves, and the process of the whole practice teaches us how to manage it.

All is well. It has to be:)







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