Quick fix--- go to pharmacy. Else, get back to your yoga mat and work it out.

Today a student was asking me for additional class for her husband, as she was worried about his high cholesterol level with the recent health report. I was quite reluctant and told her he probably has to wait till next year as i'm not taking any new slots till I'm off for my travel.

She was very concerned and trying to talk me through taking her husband. Interestingly, she noted that her husband had never willing to do yoga previously; and this time he actually requested for it but was not ready to put in more than 10 minutes of practice.

I was puzzled. So what now? Do i have to match his aloof decision of finally wanting to have a glance at this practice?

Very bluntly, i told my student that if her husband is not willing to even put one hour per day for his health, i'm not willing to put my time for him.

Her expression went crescent, and quickly change the situation by promoting how focus her husband and discipline he is. Finally, i slotted something for him; on a side note that yoga is neither a quick fix nor he should expect this practice works like Panadols.

Many students expect to resolve their 30 odd years of accumulated pains and problems in just 10 sessions of yoga. That's how crudely a student will expect from a teacher. But you know what, during that 10 sessions of yoga practice, is only the beginning for peeping into that small hole of your whole problem.

Whether you can see your own problem itself, is a problem. Many students are not ready to accept what they are facing. So, not till you are able to bring yourself to face your own trash--- we, the teachers will not be able to make you resolve anything.

Frankly, if you want a quick fix, i'll bring you to the pharmacist. But in most case, students are more familiar with the tablets & pills ( even the side effect) more than we do. Realize that those pills are not going to help us better than we help ourselves, please stay focus and patient with the practice.

I'm not as zen as what a yoga teacher should be, or expected to be. Whenever someone tries to entertain me off with " i really want to do the practice, but i can't commit my time ( one hour a week at least)."

Can't help it, inside me would rudely shout out loud, " oh shut up! you don't want to do yoga, stop entertaining me just because a yoga teacher is standing in front of you.
You have time to gossip, watch movie, shopping, cafe hopping... but not time for an hour practice. i rather you be honest with yourself. Enjoy the pain & all the best!".

Yes, that what i will be thinking at the back of my mind. The facial expression they see on me--- a blank look or a slight smile & walk away.

Someone mentioned this:

" If you have nothing nice to say, or not able to appreciate. Just keep quiet and walk away."

Pain is real. Yes it is. I'll take it all.

Yesterday marked my first time injuring myself successfully during the practice. For 6 years, i've always been very careful about not stepping over the line. Finally, it happened.

I was exploring new movements, while battling to secure my right leg behind my neck... i heard a         " piak" ( just like a sound when you tear your pants). I was literally shock and froze in that awkward position for few second. Did i just heard something disgusting? I released my leg super slowly, while retreating myself to lay flat on my mat.

Gingerly, with every little movement, my mind started to scanned through if there's any sharp pain.
No. No pain at all.
Oh great, what now? What happened?  Did i tear some fibers? If i did, i should be crying right now. The droplets on my face were my sweat, not tears.
 Ironically, i still managed to complete my practice as usual, painless.

 But inside my heart i was praying, being hopeful that nothing too serious. I blamed myself for being so impatient and lack of awareness. Only couple of hours when i got home, i felt the swell birthing. Which then i managed to locate the exact piece of muscle : Anterior Tibialis.
Oh anterior tibialis, i don't think i'll ever forget about you again. Thanks for the attention!

I limped around the house, with an ice pack dangled around my knee;  felt really lousy.
While i was always thankful for my flexible- inclined body, i took it for granted and pushed it off the limit.

Doubtful, worried and scared, all are coming. My fear of getting injured had finally arrived.
Ok, what had happened.. had happened. Time to take responsible for it, and learn my lesson well!

While i've always heard and read about injuries by ashtanga teachers, it can come down to a long list. If you have seen the chart of just the Primary Series, you'll understand.
Which reminded me of how James nonchalantly told me its alright with the strained after the class. He probably been through much more. 

Sri K Pattabhi Jois once said, " Pain is real". Yes it is.

It reminded me that my body is made of flesh and blood. Tangibly, it will deteriorate as i age. That it is exposed to risk for the things i do and the environment I'm living in.

Pain makes me real, that i should never a second to spend living in my mind or imagination of a perfectly fine and healthy body.
This is what your real body has to offer you, take it.

While we assume everything has to be perfectly high up, something will pull us down. Nothing stays constantly up or constantly down. Just like the series in the Ashtanga method, some pose are easy breezy to handle, which one or two of them are a hard nut to crack.

It moves, and the process of the whole practice teaches us how to manage it.

All is well. It has to be:)

Why home practice is good--- its challenging though.

Yesterday had a long conversation with a friend at the cafe below the shala after practice, its funny how suddenly we had so much to talk about. She was sharing with me how the inconvenient of traveling within Kuala Lumpur had sort of forced her to build up her own home practice.

Which i totally understood how challenging it can be to practice on your own. The feeling of vulnerable when all those lazy thoughts are waiting to attack the mind, " persuading" us to cut corners in the practice.

While some teachers make student dependent on them, and some teachers encourage independency.
I'm super grateful my teacher intention was to let us go and build our own practice at home.

My teacher Master Paalu once said, " Home practice is the real practice for self- discipline. Nobody will understand how much it takes to practice alone at home until they do it. For a long time."
Each time, its like a mind battling game. I've to admit that i learn so much from this process.

Now, when i travel around, the practice follows me. I don't need to find an excuse for myself because of being away from teacher. I become my own teacher, and discover so much more.

Whether being in a class or alone, both are good. It depends on what you want out of the practice. The intention.

September the 2nd

Setting off for a travel never fails to lighten my soul. Not entirely about the travel plan itself, but just by arriving to the departure hall of the airport. Suddenly, my feet felt so feather light, while few days ago it was heavy like stepping on wet cement.

In order not to get post flight body stiffness, I deliberately woke up in the wee hour 4am to start my practice. A good body full of sweat pouring over my face and all over my body--- feels good. The morning was cool, my body was warm from the inside.

Everyone was sleeping, I had the living room all by myself. Neither did i turn the lights on nor put on my contact lens. The half- blindness vision while doing the practice in darkness was an experience.

Had a good rest at towards the end, and everything feels like simple bliss.

My mum who was persistence of sending me off, finally went to bed. I called out to her twice after I packed up everything, wanting to just notify her--- no response. Not wanting to disturb her in dreamland, I creeped out of the house like a thief. 

Bon voyage.