Its been a while that i'm back on blogging again. Been a mind blowing months and weeks, both running up hill in my practice with James, and meeting new students.
So happy that Shirly is coming back real soon, i'm counting down already!
And too finally my wish to complete my advanced diving is on the way too:)
Recently i had few sessions with this lady, some yoga sessions are more unusual than what we thought it should be. Some classes are really not about the physical exercise, but dealing more of the mental state of the student.
Among the many encounters from this lady when her sudden frowning during certain movement; while i was holding her hands leading a forward bend, suddenly she gave a squeezed in my hands. There was a knot she felt in the muscles around her ribcage. Even with previous therapist, she would scream and cry when the area was being pressed.
It wasn't my first encounter with student with muscle spasm. Its seems like a horrible little monster living inside your muscles, ready to kick you in the ass anytime they like. But one common thing i realized with muscle spasm...
they live and grow in those that has been breathing under emotional suppression for a long period of time. Its painful to see them like this, to me. If its simply a cramp in the legs, i can do something to ease it. But a spasm attack happens in deeper muscles; and we can only wait a little longer till it goes away.
Breathing is a very important tool to teach them how to release those suppressed emotion ( especially anger); and learning how to let go of the grip and let thing happen the way it has to be.
When i was studying her in my mind, she reminded me of how i was one year ago. I did not suffer any spasm, but i guess it was in my head at that time.
Don't know since when i started getting worried about the health of my family, especially my parents. And i held on to the thought that i must serve my duty as their daughter to keep them healthy, given in kind of work i am in--- the more i do not want anything bad happen to them.
I started to micro- zoom into the things they do and the food they eat; which i did felt frustrated and annoyed when they couldn't see what i see.
I had a good chat with my teacher, Master Paalu that year; and he pointed out how we should let things happen if they have to. We learn to mange it, not prevent it from happening.
It really took me a long while to slowly loosen my grip; practicing asteya ( non- stealing) by not invading into their space. Everything turns out well in the end, i am so much happier and so does my parents.
Its a reflection of trying to hold everything together for too long, and if we learn to free our breathing, the knot will release automatically.
While i was thinking of blogging this down since last night, i thought...
How much can we control that is happening beyond us?
It may satisfy our expectation, but how much happiness will we feel?
If the sun is going to rise the next morning, however much work if we try to prevent it....
the sun is still going to rise tomorrow.
Live and let live.