Yoga saved my virgin run

As how many have said about "Never Say Never". How true is it. I told myself i'll never want to do any running, at all.
Remember how every of us gone through the Fitness Test during school time. 2.4Km run was a drag... never once did i pass it, or even motivated to do something about it. The ONLY time i pass my run during my last year of school, was a total flop... the instructor was holding on to two stop- watches, and clocked my time in that confusion--- so i passed! Thank god, i escaped any position for re-test.

Since then, i stop running. i get bored. I can practice yoga all alone for 2 hours, but not running for even 10 minutes. Music helps a while... but as the boredom expands, i U-turn running back home. As running events get more popular here in Singapore, i've friends who loves to run, and some even challenge the full- marathon. Kudos to them!

I give yoga or pilates classes to people who are preparing for marathon or long run. But i never like the sport. I've seen how people busted their knee joints, fractured their ankles and slipped their spinal disc from running. And these gave me a plus point for striking off from my activities. Only, if only people know how to run correctly, its healthy.

Every now and then, my friends invited me join them for running events, i turned them flat down. For the reasons that most events happen in the weekends morning ( i'll be in classes), that's a good way to reject them. That's the fact, no lying:) This time, i got asked again... hey.. the run starts in the night..!
Dooms... i did not what crossed my mind at that time... but i got registered to a 10 km run.

To many avid runners out there, 10 km may means peanut-- or just your daily routine warm- up before you get serious training started. For people who don't run, like me.... its like a mile. As the day gets nearer, i regretted on my decision.

I tried to do some "training". The first private practice, i tried running for a half -hour. I could not get out of bed, or even had to stay away from my yoga mat for one whole week. Then, i shoo away from the track, and just do yoga. The second last- minute private training, lasted for just 10 minutes...

On that day of the event, i insisted to do my usual yoga practice... 2 hours of stretching--- should prevent me from getting any joints injuries or muscular cramps. And what's more, yoga practices always lighten and energizes my mood! ( glad i did)
The event was packed! Jammed packed... Singaporeans loves running huh! So, i geared up my private selection of music, together with my friends we started the race. We lost one another anyways, i just kept going, alone.

Surprisingly, i made it through the run in 1.5 hours ( which i gave myself 3 hours initially to comfort myself). No heavy panting, no blackout, no cramp.. wonderful:) I put my yoga practice into use during the run--- scooped the hips, engaged the abs, shoulders and lower rib- cage depressed, long breathing for stamina ( ashtanga method really helps here), don't bother about the mini steps, keep looking ahead ( dristhi concept from ashtanga, again).

It was a great experience for me personally. Pretty surprise that how the accumulation of yoga practice over the few years had given me so much strength, that it cleared doubts on the capability of myself initially. But still, running is not my favorite... will i run again then? Why not, if its in the night again!

That night after the run, i went home and realized there was blood in my socks. One of my toe nails had shifted in, its sort of like flesh tear in the nail bed. The cause--- as we run forward, the toes in the shoes shift forward and keep bumping again the shoes- front. It didn't occur to me before--- probably i did not run long enough on my own.
My friend suggested to cut the toe nail REAL short, so the bumping will happen on the fleshy tip of the toes, not the nails.

Are they being clingy or are we not releasing?

When I was younger, I asked my teacher where is birth and when is death. He answered, " everywhere all the time."
It took me a while to really comprehend this idea, which I naively took it as babies are born and people are dying everyday.
We like creation, birth and greetings. But when it comes to dissolution, death and goodbyes... We refuse to let it go.
Be it bodily, relationships or intellectuals... The idea of accepting an end is as if cutting a flesh out from our arms. Then, we suffer.
Come to think about it, is it we who refuse to set them ( an idea or emotion) free or is that we thought that they are clinging onto us?

Are we mistakenly holding on to death and in turn blocking the progression of birth?
Just like holding to a rope, so tightly. That if we are so fearful to let it go, we'll get rope-burn, till we learn how to free ourselves.

She took three years to touch her toes, what about you?

I've been teaching this particular class for 3 years, with a group of committed faces still keep on appearing for the once weekly yoga session during their lunch hour. Last session, i notice this lady had finally managed to touch her toes with her finger tips in the standing forward bend--- all straightened reaching to the maximum. She smiled, i saw that in the reflection of the mirror. Secretly, i did jump in victory for her:)
Not because that it all really matters if we able to even kiss our toes; i was happy because of her never- give- up- easily attitude.

3 years ago, this lanky lady, was barely even near her ankles... maybe above the knees. All others around her folded like a closed book, and that did not make her wanting to withdraw, or give up reason with a cliche " oh, yoga is not for me, i am not flexible enough."

I still see her every week, sweat dripping, tipping over... because she holds a strong believe of her capability and towards the practice.
And today, once a week forward bends--- she tasted the sweetness of her hard work.
I am sure in between all those practice, she probably wondering would she ever gonna get a chance to touch her toes like all others. So long as she think she's doing the right stuff, glad that she pressed on till today.

I've seen many students gets all so frowning and frustrated for being falling all over the room, not able to perform the expected final pose; and after a while, they give up! Understand that yoga is not a vending machine, you dropped in a few coins, and you get it just in few seconds.

The practice is a test of the willingness to go on, really with a strong self- belief. Every pose, goes through the process of ploughing, sowing seeds, planting, watering, weeding... than harvesting. Each lesson has a indefinably duration of harvesting for everyone--- sometimes we just take so long to learn, till we learn it, we move on. Be patient.

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness.
But to keep going when the going is hard and slow- that is patience. 
~ anonymous 




 

When practice turns topsy- turvy: Not too bad actually!

I am glad that i pulled through the 90 minutes practice today. Isn't yoga practice suppose to be smooth sailing the more we practice...hmm.. not as expected.
Just before i decided to do my practice, i read about something that triggered my past memories; which really upset me. For split second, i so wanted to call off my practice--- i unrolled the mat in the end, phew!

Was trying to stay close to the flow of my breathing, when some thoughts kept cutting that flow. Those dead memories ridiculously went on pushing my buttons--- and my initial upset turned into annoyance. I felt that burning heat building up inside my head like an inferno, and sweats was pouring like a fountain from the pores. I felt that my head was as heavy as my butt!
And finally, i paused... at Marichi C. Started to play around the towel with my fingers--- just like how a child playing with her pencil or eraser during homework time.

Two things happened. One one side, late- recollections started to crawl in--- that i suggested to myself to quickly just finished up till Navasana and end the practice.
On the other end, i remembered something i learned from a recent workshop attended by Kino Macgregor:

When many people thinks that yoga practice should be all very comfortable, nice and no pain, but no; in reality that's not what life is offering to us. The good thing is yoga practice present both--- pain( dukkha) & pleasure ( sukkha). Pains appear in our life and on our path for a reason--- for us to learn.

Not till we learn this particular lesson at this particular stage, life does not allow us to move on to the next stage. We can always keep putting off or defer them, but this in turn makes us coming back to the same problem in cycle. And pain sets in, is an opportunity for us to break this cycle.

As all these thoughts process coming to an end, i took three long breaths--- break the idea to stop halfway, and complete the series with a big shavasana ( relaxation). 
I am glad for what had happened inside me today, that i did unrolled the mat initially, that i got so distracted halfway through, and that i moved through the last half of the practice.

Life is not always as smooth sailing, so does our personal touch with yoga practices. At least, i survived a small thunderstorm today:)

Short thought: sukkah and dukkha

The one thing that we are working so hard for is to be happy. Often we got into a confusion of being happy, or satisfied.

There are times, if you too have ever experience---
That we are working towards our vision, and somehow things doesn't always worked according to the formula. We pick up thoughts, acts, habits, lifestyle, along the way--- that may or may not help us to become a happier person.

Negative thoughts are like the cancer cells living inside us. When we created a conducive environment for it to prosper; through action and leading to habits sprouting from negative thoughts.
And slowly, the cancer lumps starting to grow and becoming cancerous tumour living-- like we shifting into a particular lifestyle.
Suffering (dukkha) in pain, drifting us further away from the centre of balance.
Fighting for happy may appear to be cruel. Like cutting the tumour with our own hand, while biting into that intensity of pain. Cutting off unhealthy relationships, habits, actions, lift style-- it's really difficult.
When we think a little further beyond this short-term pain, happiness (sukkah) is there waving at you.

Mind-shut-down experience

Keeping the best thing to the last. The last day of practice with Kino... Somehow just flashed by. Too quickly.

Drop- back has been one of my favourite area of exploration. And it marks the end of the series before the cooling down.

For the past days, Kino assisted us in dropping- back ( a backbend in ashtanga). Every practice, every bend, was increasing intensity. Today, I experienced yet another level "mind-shut-down".

She did the usual adjustment, as I've already prepared mentally and to manage it. And suddenly she said, " climb up". That was not part of the usual game. Hanging back upside down, with so many things already going on to prevent myself from falling. That one foreign command was not helping.

Kino gripped my arms one at a time, I just kept breathing hard ( that's all I can think of)... The next thing, my spine was further extended. Ok.. Se went counting 5,4,3,2,1... And I literally sprung up!

Cool! I've never felt that before... It's a crazy feeling. Everything happened so fast, that my mind wasn't even working fast enough. The interesting part is, there no bit of frighten or distrust ( of myself and the teacher) that I would get injured. Maybe that's what we've always been talking about of the language of the heart.
Sometimes, it just have to catch us so unprepared, and unexpected-- to shut the mind down, and let the words of the soul flows.

Everything is ok, no problem!

Fear is Contagious

Finally, i am fulling one promise to myself- to learn diving. I've been keeping this little promise to myself for two years, before it is happening. So, we have two classes in the swimming pool learning for an hands on of how the whole thing works before going to the open water. Besides the excitement of the course, it was so interesting to see how fear can push us down, immediately.

One of my friend, was struggling in the water, probably drank some mouthful of water through both the mouth and water shot up into the nostrils. Jumped out of the water, almost tearing and told me, " I don't think i can do this. i want to give up the course." Soon after, the next person said the same thing.

For a moment, i thought... What?! Is fear contagious?
Yes, fears can be contagious. When the energy vibration we radiate, the people around us feel it too. And may get affect by it. Just like how common flu can spread from one to another, fast!
With a strong immunity system ( mind and body), you may not get into any of these ( fear and flu).

Have you ever hear people told you not to do something, by injecting their fear into you? Or people putting wet blanket on you, discouraging you just because they themselves failed to do so. I'm sure you have!

I used to have many people telling me not to do the things i wanted, because they did not fulfill it themselves. Initially, i was so annoyed, almost ( almost... but i did not!) wanting to tell them " You can't do it, that's your business. Don't poke into mine." That's really mean, i know!
Because, i know that these people are going to drag others too, living into the same circle of fear with them, so they feel secure, that's even meaner!

Slowly, i get lesser of people trying to input their nightmares into my dreams. Its not that they are not around, they are still there...  instead I'm learning to take a more positive angle approach. Fear come about as a test, to see how much strength we have to hold on--- to others that particular fear, whether its in me or in them--- is totally invalid.

My teacher master Paalu, once mentioned that suppression does not solve any problem. Suppression of fear is just mainly trying to push it down and hide it. Its a matter of them of us being swallow by it. Turning the situation around, taking it for self- improvement, releasing the pressure, and find that fear its not longer around!