10 June 2014

Let all the sh*t flow out and get over it!

Admit it, yoga is not completely sweet--- its bitter sweet.

Keeping my personal practice on the mat going, has surely plays a huge part of the choices i take in my life.

Know what's the scariest and toughest part as the practice progress--- not all those falls or bruises or aches--- the  more dreadful is the part where we have to face our sh*t agin and again and again......
till we really get over, let go and grow up.

I can totally feel the capability of the practice to put me where i should be, not where i want to be. Every time when i got into a unfamiliar ground during my practice; the experience of at loss and anxiety really shook me up, and that i was so " traumatized" till that part of my memory was "lost" for a while.

However, that has successfully unfold the past memories of the same emotions--- that i believed has been living in my sub-conscuios--- because they appeared in my dream repeatedly.
Sometimes, i woke up having a feeling of sadness--- and i knew it clearly that its the results of the previous practices.

Again and again, layers and layers of such emotions and memories flows out from time to time.
Its frightening, because each time i felt that i'm not going to survive--- but i'm desperate enough for that breath of freedom.

David Swenson, a well- known Ashtanga teacher once mentioned, " Yoga practice on the mat is only a sample part of your whole life."

It is.

There are many times, i asked myself, if given a second chance to choose--- would i choose otherwise?

My answer will always be a "No". I will not choose otherwise; i will still choose to stick to the same choices i made few years ago. And this, stop all my rubbish thoughts from churning, and appreciate of my effort today.

I do understand that just like being on the mat--- we can't move on to the next when we are struggling with the current. The repeatedly having to face the same struggle can be really tiring--- but thats's where we gather enough strength for that break through.

Face it, the practice is just going to get tougher--- the more we do it, the more sh*t we are going to reveal--- sit tight and stay stronger. We will eventually survive and see the next sunrise;)

1 comment:

  1. I think the 2nd series is bringing out the sh*t! Dig deeper and let the sh*t all come out! Go go Ade! x