10 years ago, i didn't know.

Looking back at myself a decade ago, 

i then realized how much i don't understand about me, 

about life.

10 years ago i didn't know,

i didn't know a lot.

I didn't know

Ideals are like fairy tales,

The more we fantasize, the further we are.

Youth makes me felt like I'm invincible,

Yet as time flow by without batting an eye,

I'm nothing but a speck of dust on this earth.

First love felt so sweet & fluffy like cotton candy,

Heartbreaks literally made me gasped to stay alive,

The pain was so real that I was not ready to take it.

Saying Yes to everything made everyone happy, but me.

Articulated my first No was the best thing i did for myself. 

Not feeling guilty ever. 

Some friendships could actually be broken off regardless of years,

Some friendships could dive so deep so quickly regardless of years. 

Whatever decision i make, 

Anyone would always have something to comment.

Damn if i do, damn if i not

I will just do it anyway. 

I cannot change the world i hope for,

But i can change the way i perceived,

I be the change. 

This girl once lazy & fat,

who were lucky enough to received both doubts & supports,

who surprises herself for the amount of effort

she never knew she could give.

Number is not just a number, 

Getting old is kind of scary.

But getting old without growing

is scarier. 

10 years later from today,

I would realized,

there are so much more i didn't understand

about me, about life.