Yoga teaching, was not my dream; But something i want to do.

I've came across or read about how yoga teachers came into this practice due to some form of injuries;
and eventually teach when they got recovered through yoga practices.

Be it physical, mental or emotion--- there's a part of the self who's in search of some kind of healing--- which later to realized that popping pills is not the best way; ignoring the injuries does not help either.

I was just sharing with a friend today the exact moment when i know that  yoga is something i want to invite to my life and sharing it to the community through teaching.
It was my first yoga class, after the point when the yoga teacher made an adjustment to the Shoulder Stand i was in. There was this fleeting joy i felt, and this feeling stays in my memory till today.

I probably enter into this path not due to any physical injuries, but an emptiness--- where i was searching for something to fill the hole ( my teacher would call this as " confused soul").
That special comfort moment i felt in that yoga class---i would like to call this feeling " home". You know, like going back home after a hard day work, being yourself comfortably. 

But this little home is not created for and by anyone ( not your parents, not the bricks and roof top), its a little cozy place that you can reside to heal and grow. A silent peace and joy.

Because i wanted to find out more what this exactly was, that i kept going to yoga classes and eventually teaching.

It was not my dream to become a yoga teacher ( seriously i did not even know that i'll become one)--- my teacher, master paalu was the first person who opened the door of possibilities to me.

However somehow, i was answered without even realizing the question I've been always asking myself about life all the while. 

Someone who practice yoga, does not mean it'll or must lead to becoming a teacher. Practicing yoga is about self- management so that we can keep our life and work operating smoothly.

The path less traveled, is not too easy.

Once a friend said that it is always too challenging to take the path less traveled; because its almost an opposing direction we're moving against.
The initial idea to opt for choices less chosen is surely very much excited; but one may eventually feel too drained out moving against old habits and temptation; or even constantly having to cool the opposition down.
Many slowly choose to drop out of being " different" and join the rest in the mass traffic flow.

Sometimes, there's this strong belief we can see, that others can't. There's no way we can even describe or explain this vision to others.
There are times when others try to talk you out that our beliefs are pure fallacies. If they succeed to talk you out, they would feel more justified by their practice is "right". Otherwise, your strong beliefs will make them insecure about themselves.

My mum has never belief that vegetarianism can give us enough energy to operate our daily tasks. I still remember that i was so nervous to tell her that my decision of cutting away meat from my meals. Her exclamation of protesting to prepare my meal, happened for a few weeks.

When i was learning to prepare my own meal, my mum would peep to see how's like. Soon, she took over the task, and supported cutting down animals on the plate for health reasons.

Holding different way of thoughts will also lead to strong reactions from all around. So, how strong the fire inside us to keep our vision burning brightly? Strength, dedication and determination ( as quoted by Kino Macgregor)

I like to use the example of snapping of a rubber band. There are many moments, that just a little more effort against the resistance, the rubber band would snap, and it freedom! But too many time, we can tired just at that last step and bounced back speedily to the original form.

We have a choice to belief in what we want, or to ask ourselves to believe in that poplar "logic". Its not an easy task--- to care about what we think about ourselves than to care about what others think about us.

Want the truth... no cheating first!

Whenever we meet the practice of asteya or non-stealing, commonly taking it literally as not to rob or trying to own what does not belong to us.

My teacher, master paalu once pointed a different angle on this principal, and its relationship asteya can build a bridge towards the ultimate truth within us.
He says, " No cheating. Don't cheat others, don't even try to cheat yourselves."

This may sound a little harsh initially, but the bluntness present its clarity. Many people, you and i even, tries and is cheating ourselves every day. And we send ourselves to sleep with a closing thought: Everything's OK
.
There are things that i secretly know that is not going at the right way, but because i insistently wanting them to happen, so i keep telling myself " Its OK". The the mind pushes my boundaries of accepting more things that i do not really want to face, but i still tell myself " I'll be OK."

I stepped onto my yoga mat, during the practice; i kept having those thoughts running in my head.
Every time when i say " Its ok"--- there's an inner voice replied " No its not." 
" Its going to be just fine"
" No, its not. Adeline you know it. You felt that crunch in your stomach !"
" I know i'm ok, if i just have to keep doing it"
" Come on! Stop lying."

Only at the time when i broke my practice halfway,
when i had a suddenly lost of urge to continue-- i admitted that things were not going right for me.

Yes, of course, i can choose to ignore and follow through my plan But deep down inside i know i would not be happy for long, and this will affect the others too. The self- cheating comes forth when we direct our energy away from our focus, by doing what we don't actually want. And drifting further and further away from the little chest-box in our heart center.

There're path and life map and plans already for ourselves. The suggestion from the outside ( be it family, relatives or friends) at many times can be a huge distraction; that we eventually taking time to fulfill their life plan instead of ours.

Master Paalu says, " To practice Satya, practice Asteya first. Only when we stop cheating ourselves to please others, the truth will come."