Evening Walk in Peace:)

I am slowly adjusting myself back from a mild post- india- syndrome. From India to Singapore, it is just like from one extreme end to another, in terms of public security. Besides my other habits i picked up while staying in India ( i'm sure i am not the only one:) ):

1) Getting more lost than usually, especially down in the town and switching of the trains.

2) Reminding myself that the cab i hop in is gotto be on meter ( without me asking), and just relax in the ride.

3) Not have to constantly wanting to rewash my fruits, vegetables & plates with clean water after washing them under the tap. Singapore's taps are safe enough.

4) Unwind my mental of telling myself that i can relax my lips when taking shower, its OK if the water gets into the mouth.

5) Walking in the night at peace.

Yes, the last point, is actually what i miss.  I am missing the relax state of mental when walking alone in the night, peacefully. Like taking a night stroll on my own. For two months, i did not engage in this activity.

Usually, if i'm not too tired, and the night is nice; i would alight one train station earlier and walk back home. ( I'm staying in Tampines, and i get off at Simei station). Its a route that i'm too familiar, which i can just walk home with a pea brain.

I didn't realized that i miss the peaceful night walks, until i decided to do that yesterday. That bridge, that linked from one town to the other, has never been so appreciated by me before. Instead of dragging myself up the steps like i used to, i actually enjoy the bridge for the first time.

I can put my guard down a little, and enjoyed the scenic of people doing their own things.... people are running, school kids going home, young kids playing catching game in the playground, older people working out in the open- gym, a very mini- size puppy talking a walk ( more like running, given the short legs)...

There's nothing in comparison of these two countries; because both of them makes me feels home in different parts of me. 

Getting into the local adventure: Train Journey

Though its already past midnight here in Jaipur, I thought i must finish up this post before i hit my fluffy pillow. Just the other day, in my previous post on Respect your Limitation, i was hoping for chances to explore the boundaries of our limitation. And, today, it happened.

From Agra going to Jaipur, we had our train tickets all nicely arranged ( in the upper class, where there's relatively clean cabin with meal served). Skipping our breakfast, arrived at the Agra train station even before the sunrises; to know that our scheduled train was delayed for 7 hours! Due to the heavy fog, neither being helpful with the traffic nor the temperature.

We then managed to squeeze in some space on the bench ( standing by the singaporean spirit of kiasu), behind a wall at least to keep the wind away from us. There was a Dutch guy beside us alone ( Flo), and ended up we started chatted and trying to kill time. While some local kids started to get curious about the only 3 foreigners in the station, doing stunts to attract our attention.

Instead of the 7 hours wait, we grabbed another tickets over the counter for the next earliest train. Again, the time was re- scheduled umpteenth time, till i was even afraid to look at the time board. It was like a short burst of hope, and burst into disappointment. And finally, all in all, we wait 6 hours in total in the station, battling the cold.

My finger tips got numb, then my feet got numb, and the numbness ran up my ankles and calves. We didn't have much water ( to avoid the public/ train toilet as much as we could), and just eating bananas and more bananas.
The good thing was, we met Flo, we shared our travel stories and that really help to give one another some mental support.

When the train finally arrived, our tickets were valid only for the local cabin! The local cabin, not even the usual indians will opt for it. Its very male domineering, in that cabin; with at least Flo's presence, i did feel safer. We were very luckily to get seats once we board the train.

Opposite us were a bunch of local old men, in very humble clothes, frail and thin. One started to talk to us, requesting us to take a photo of him. I, being really on a high alert, and fighting mode, rejected his request. And still, he said a bunch of stuff in Hindi, and again asking for camera.

Once again, i didn't dare to even take out any gadget from my bag, feeling a little unsafe, i raised my voice and said, " photo nahii! photo nahii!" ( no photo! no photo!). Flo, took out his camera and satisfy his request.
Seriously, i didn't know that i would actually flare up, but because am scared!

Through out the 4 hours journey, in my mind, i thought i probably would not have survive through the long ride. We were sharing seat, and in a very awkward, uncomfortable, one- sided butt numbing position; My neck- shoulders were really sore from the heavy bag pack. The weird stench from the toilet, the frequent sight of the dirty toilet bowl...phew!

A mantra was running in my head, " Oh gosh, i think i'm not going to pull through this... am going to break down soon." i didn't know how long my physical body can take it.

Together with the random disturbance from the old man, am keeping my mind really busy--- by continuously mental encouraging myself to stay on, and also keeping alert of any potential harassment nearing us.

Babaji simply just lay against Flo's body, making himself really at home!

I gathered whatever hindi stuff i learnt for the passed months right at the tip on my tongue. And i did also learn a couple of mean & bad words in hindi... just in case i may need it!
Interestingly, i probably have to thank the old man trying to disturb us, that i did actually manage to converse with him in very basic hindi. And till he stopped his silly act.

Really counting my blessings, every other second, we did meet some really nice local in the same cabin to help us around.

As a home- grown Singaporean, i'm really surprise that we made through all these. For once, at any one time, i thought i'm really going to break my limit. My face was powdered with dust, hair was entangled with dust... so much that i felt like am a dust too. I'd no complains, in exchanged for a really rare opportunity to expand my horizon and limitation.
Its not too bad after all!

There was this old man on the train, who would walked over to our cabin, with a tambourine- like instrument and sang " Rama Rama Sat" every other stopover. And he sort of insisted us to sing with him, looking at us and said " its good it good... Rama Rama Sat!". After many trip over to our cabin, we did sing the last round with him when our station was approaching. Till now, i've no idea why he was doing it, and what was it about? 
Anyone who knows it, please share and enlightened us:)!

We cleaned up, and had a really good dinner treat for ourselves!

Respect your Limitation

You know, the thing about limitation can be really irony. When limitation according to our truth at that very moment, we take it as a positive form of security. When the same subject matches out truth of another moment, we take it as a negative form of suffocation.

Many books may have written that people don't like changes, we prefer a stable and stagnant life. On the other side, i do see that many people like changes, they want changes, because it makes lives more colorful, instead of just black and white.

Just look at how people switch their phone and computers, cars and houses, travels and fashion. In a blink, everything changes. And because all these material changes offers tons of options, we can sort of mix- and- match our material sheath. We like it only when we give the permission for the changes to enter our life, when we're ready to receive it. 

We like changes, we like predictable changes; we like it only when changes goes our way, the way we change it, the way we plan it should be. That's when we don't mind changes.

How about unpredictable changes? How about immaterial & intangible changes? Changes we can't touch with our bare hands? We don't like it, we rather choose to breathe within our limitation, and try to survive as long as we can. The flow of our lives, the external environment, does not ask permission. They just enter. 

Life is juvenile, it don't usually like to go the way we wanted, if we try to control it.
Just like the sea waves, the fishermen, the sailors or the surfers, they can't control the mood of the sea for their personal activities. They merely have to wait, for the suitable time for them to enter into the situation; that's then when the sea too being part of their life experiences.

Since young, my mum rejects any of our request to even get near to the shoreline. Its was her limitation, and it became our limitation too. " Sea is dangerous", that a wall i'd build around myself too. My dad, the opposition party, would sneak us out to the beach and played with the sea water. Which does slowly melt away my fear, and turned out that i love water.

The salty- bitter taste of the sea water, how small i feel whenever in the middle of the sea, the beautiful sea world down under...

Personally, i am not ready or should i break any of my limitation; rather bending the flexibility of limitation and see how far i can go without breaking it:)