THERE IS NO CALMNESS IN THUNDERSTORMS

THERE IS NO CALMNESS IN THUNDERSTORMS.

Why would we expect peace in the midst of chaos?

Why would we even anticipate clarity in muddiness? 

Sukha & Dukha 

Pleasure & Sufferings

Happiness & Unsatisfactory 

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Sharathji briefly mentioned that how we how to accept these duality, 

that is also part of our lives.

We can be very happy at one point, and we can also find ourselves tumbling 

down the rocky path very quickly.

Who knows whats for us next right? 

   It's interesting how much our minds work against us; 

even after all the information we have uploaded to the brain;

even how we have used up all the intelligence juice to analyse those data.

And many things still didn't happen the way we wanted.  

Almost equally, we have control over many things

as well as

many things are beyond our control.

And yet, given our intelligence,

we try to control things that are beyond our reach,

&

ignore those things that we have full authority over. 

Why?

Nobody like to change themselves first.

Yet we expect others' to change for us, to fit into our requests.

Our acts, thoughts, perceptions, words, 

behaviors, attitude, temperament;

So much to work on ourselves for ourselves.

For any change shall calls for a storm.

However major or minor, to go through any storms,

it required much effort, endurance, persistence and patience.

Till every particle settles. 

 What if we sees that in order for the result of sukha

we must go experience the process of duhka. 

Accepts that both states are

what make our lives alive.

All things are transient.

Even the darkest clouds will dissolute

as rain. 

Let's learn to look at our daily experience as weather;

see our life experience as climate. 

Pain, you're such an enigma!

Current time: 8.45PM.

I planned to wake up early next morning, maybe 3.30AM

to get ready for LED class. In fact, to be in the queue for the 6AM class. 

So, instead of hitting my pillow ASAP, I flipped open my laptop.

I was in the midst of shower, and gushes of thoughts waved through my head.

I want to write them down before it washes off together with the shampoo on my hair.

  

Pain is a good teacher. 

Most time not friendly. 

Sometimes not compassionate even. 

Probably it even smirked off as " You deserved every bit of it."

Today, during practice, Sharath said to someone in a back bend " No pain, no gain."

It has been awhile i last heard this from anyone.

I took it well now, not earlier. 

Looking 8 years back. 

Young and invincible ( at least that was how i felt at that time), i didn't listen, and  i wouldn't listen.

I just wanted to do what i wanted, because I CAN. 

I was blessed with a well-preserved, soft & injury-free body ( in fact, because i was too lazy to move and exercise during my adolescent years). 

Being flexible and bendy at the time was enough to WOW & impressed myself and the people around me.

So, i make good used of it. 

Why not right? Because I CAN.

" You shouldn't bend like this, you will pinch your back once day." A few teachers said to me.

Did i listen? NO. 

I couldn't understand or comprehend their precautions at all. 

I could still pretzel or swiss-roll however i wanted without a second thought. 

Nope, don't care. So long as i get what i wanted, I'm going to do what i want.

A good 5 years later, practice progressing & body changes; and its time for my abusive attitude to stop. 

I pulled my Rotator-cuffs muscles, then my Lumbar was giving me issues, then the Piriformis...

and they kind of took turns to surface, whenever i wasn't aware enough and repeat my bad habits. 

Oh... its pay back time. I thought.

A sunny day out by the river bank checking out indians having cleansing bath;)

 At that point, I gave myself 2 options. 

1. Ditch the practice.

2. Ditch my old habits & see what i can get from the practice.

I chose 2. 

Because i have enough faith that the intention of the practice is to heal. 

I held back my pride, back-off many steps back and humbly work my new way forward.

That also meant that i have to brush pass "pain" a few times to work my way through. 

It was so frustrating, helpless & upsetting with all those struggles. 

Many times, i do just want to victimized myself by saying 

" oh poor me, why is this happening to me?" 

 You know, but an immediate response echoed, " Oh, you didn't listen, remember?" 

I like how some teachers regards the practice as a life-time practice.

 Its relatively, right?

If I'm going to commit to this for a long-time, my whole life time.... what's the rush?

What is the frustration all about? Where are you rushing to?

Make things right again & let it blossom again. Take time lady!

My school teacher once said the same thing.

" tell a kid not to touch the lighted candle"

"next moment you see the kid want to go near it"

" warn the kid again or few more time that the flame is hot, don't go near it." 

" next moment, the kid will go near the flame again."

" you know what? just let the kid get burn."

" just one time he gets burnt, he will learn"

I do see myself being teacher, sometimes nag at students a couple of times about the practice.

And i could totally relate to them for not listening unintentionally.

Well, so then i waited. They taught me to extend my level of patience indeed. 

I waited to the day they felt something was off or some pain is happening;

The day that their ears open willingly & ready to take in some information;

That my words are now more worthy to them, that's the right time for both of us. 

So even if pain seems like a heartless teacher;

not a nice teacher.

But definitely a good teacher with lots of tough love!

 

WHO HAS BEEN THE GREATEST INFLUENCE THIS YEAR?

 " WHO HAS BEEN THE GREATEST INFLUENCE THIS YEAR?"

Who has been my greatest influence this year?

I guess i should say who has i allow myself to be influenced greatly.

My teacher in Singapore, James.

Because, he put in a great amount of effort to understand me as a person first. 

With full sincerity and consistency. Never a time he pressurized me until I'm ready for my turn to understand what his teachings.  

As years pass by, i have learn to be really selective with the people i spend time with. 

Looking back, i often laughed at myself how naive i was; yet of course i have no regret at all for what i had went through.

" You are too young & naive"
" You are so blur!"
" You are too emotional"
" You are not being smart enough"
" You are such a push-over"
" You don't have to be so nice"..... and on & one.

Remarks that i received too often:)
Sometimes i thought, if i have a chance to re-live those years again, i would probably make the same choice.

" What if I'm going to die today? There are still things i have yet done."

No kidding. This is something i told myself regularly.

How far are we going to plan our life before we can savor it?
 
Not being adult, too playful? Maybe.
At least I'm glad that i manage to fulfill my bucket list that i owed myself for years.

Yeah, good & bad experiences keep me going forward, to who i am today:)
Actually,I'm pretty proud of myself the way i turn out to be now!

 " Make mistakes, go ahead and make many mistake. But, make different ones."James used to say this pretty often.

I believe that at every stage of our lives, there we meet a person just at the right time to make that turn in our journey. 
But of course, if we follow every turn, we will end up confused, lost and nowhere we want to end up in. 
A wise choice, a wise turn, & a wise change.

There was a question that was pretty interesting:

There are 4 paths ( A,B,C,D)

Only 1 path leads to your destination.

How would you go about this journey?

The demanding ashtangi

" An advanced yoga practitioner is not one who has tasted the most advanced poses,

rather one who has gain advancement in their attitude and character as a person

even in the simplest form of practice in their lifetime." 

At least to me. 

 

It was all about the pose when i started. 

And somehow overtime, it isn't all about the pose, but through the poses we learn many other values in life. 

 

In the primary series, a handful of student will hit their first hurdle in Marichiyana D ( a seated deep twisted that looks like a pretzel). 

Every time when i go to them to adjust or assist them, they would asked 

" When will i ever get to do this myself? I have been trying for 6 months already, its still not happening!"

 

Most times, i laughed it off and told them that i struggled for 3 years without a teacher before the magic happened to me. I'd been through that " feel bad" and frustration enough to empathize them. Still, the reality is, our bodies need time to condition. 

Don't be unreasonable!

 

Then what, the next hurdle at Supta Kumasana took me 6 years! 

Even now and then i still need help, should i sit down and cry?

 

It's funny how we love to allocate timeline on different stages in our lives and similarly how we allocate timeline for achieving each pose.

 

Who say so? Who set the timeline? Who frame that limitation?

 

Instead of being demanding towards those poses, why not demand for more patience, persistence and endurance in the practice?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is the sound of ( your) homecoming?

The beeping sound of the automatic car-lock at the carpark below our block.
Somehow, we knew that beeping sound must be from our dad's car.

Mmmummm! Dad's is downstairs at the carpark liao! *singlish

Endless giggles, jokes and teasing among the sisters.

The anxious clanking of the pots and pans, chopping and sizzling from the kitchen.
Mum was just rushing out the last dish.

Come, help me taste if the soup is nice or should i put some more seasoning.
Ok ah? Can ah? Then get ready to set the table, your daddy is reaching home soon ah! *

Clicking of the footsteps outside the house, the sound of the keys clinking. First unlocking the heavy-duty lock from the metal gate, then the sturdy wooden door.

Daddy! You are back, can have dinner liao!*
Hmmm. I go shower first, you all get ready. 

Symphony of table-setting: choptstick, ceramic bowls & spoons, a few episode of shouting from mum, pushing chairs around to make space...

Finally, everyone was on the dining table for dinner as a family.

Haiz, finally can sit down, so busy at the kitchen whole day. Come, let's start, drink the soup first hor, its very flavourful, i used slow- cooker to prepare it for hours.... ....... *

That was the sound of home-coming when i was young.
The sounds from my parents, the familiar sound when a door unlocks... the anticipation still triggers a reaction inside me.

Year after, and today... homecoming probably feels more like a state of comfort, security and reassurance i provide for myself. The moment when a steady silence is still maintain regardless of how chaotic and exciting fun time the world is having.

Not always though, it is much challenging then i ideally wanted it to be; however, whenever i catch a period of the inner voice of silence, i think feel safe and nice:)

* singlish 
singapore version of english. It is a mix of dialects, languages and no-sense expression.
Its heavily used as part of our communication with friends and family. 

2016 ----> 2017

We always move forward, even it doesn't feel like it. 
Even with every setback, we may feel like stepping back;  it is also part of the process to move forward. 

Those were the words my teacher, James highlighted during the last few coffee sessions before i headed to Mysore.
I guess, that pretty much sums up my year of 2016!

2016 hasn't been easy, but it has been smooth and fulfilling. Many things happened, and i did have to work doubly hard than i planned to, just to make this year end trip happen.
Always thankful for the good people around me who made me feel damn lucky!

I've always hear others hopping for a better next year. Or even accumulating years of resolutions, which probably remain untouched till the following year.
I used to believe in resolution, and finding myself getting a long list of " have- not- do- list'.

The more i look at it, the more i felt that I'm going to regret living a life like this.

So i stopped. I stop listing down resolution, i stop hoping a better year ahead.

I had a good year, and it cannot be better than the way it unfolded for me.

I am looking forward to having more opportunities and necessary changes in my life.
And all i ask from myself as a reminder, is to be firm with my boundaries and enjoy the process.

 ---- No social party in the process, i slept through, very well rested:) -----

On the first day of 2017, 

Headed to Operation Shanti for play time with the kids. 

I first met them when i was 22, and now I'm 30. 

Every time when i looked at the older kids, i'm amazed by how fine and well they have grown up to be. 

Given a conducive environment & proper education, any kid from any birth background can excel in their life--- when they are willing to work hard for it. 
And this applies to us, grown- up adults too.

Isn't it? Just that along the way, we forgotten about it & cries how life has been treating us badly.

To get a little more introspective, just few days before,
I've friends gave birth to lives & people who passed on. 
Everything happened too quickly, and the whole process was too surreal. 

And that we are all in the process of living and dying. 
I do not wish to have another death to remind me how much we should appreciate each breath we are taking.

On the last day of 2017, 

I wish we all have become a better version of ourselves from today, Happy New Year folks!

Hi & Bye! #operationshanti #joannemdm #shirlymdm #2016

Among many hi(s) and bye(s), i guess nothing can be as uplifting on arrival & emotional on departure with the kids of Operation Shanti.

Today marked the last visit of Operation Shanti of my two buddies-- Jo & Shirly. 

While i still have 2 more months to burn with them, witnessing their farewell wasn't easy for me too. Every season, we sink deeper, and it is getting more tricky to pull out. We are more involved with their engagements & activities.
 
Over the years, we watched them changes as much as they observed our changes.

We know they are growing up and doing well when the older kids finally pronounced our names pitch-perfect!

Jo- Han ---> Joanne 
Jelly ---> Shirly
ABC mdm ---> Adeline 

Personally, i could never imagine completely what they are going through inside.
Probably with the older kids, when sometimes they would express their thoughts during proper conversations.

Of course, vice versa, they would throw us with many innocent questions about our life back home. And could never imagine the bigger world beyond their reach ( at the moment).

With the awesome tuition teachers

 This evening, sitting at a corner watching them rushing up & down preparing for their tuition classes, Shirly & I thought, " I wonder how will they be like in 10 years time....."

" Happy journey to Singapore Joanne mdm & Shirly mdm"
Today they had the longest goodbye to Jo & Shirly.

" No drama, no crying."
* That didn't happen as planned.

" Happy journey to Gokulam Adeline mdm, see you next year ( 2017)"
* They are really cheeky & tricky!

See you 2017 kiddos, let's finish up the painting together!


 

Do you oil bath?

Oil bath.
An activity that highly recommended as part of the routine with the Ashtanga practice.
I put it as an activity, because, it takes time & effort to go through the whole process.

Yesterday in the conference, Sharath did mentioned about oil bath again.
Good for muscles soreness.
" Just apply, don't massage" he emphasized.

I've been oil-bathing myself couple of times with coconut oil.
And i love it. Its relaxes my muscles.
Who don't enjoy warm oil on skin, on a tired body? ( though i know friends who don't enjoy putting oil on skin)

So, I've also heard enough tales about using castor oil.
Thicker than most other oil, therefore more effort needed in the application step.

No soap is good enough to completely clean off the oil. Rather a dual mix of herbal powder is recommended for cleaning.

And the final thing i heard about the effect: You will feel tired, so get some rest after castor oil bath.
 

So, today is a good day. No practice.
I decided to give castor oil bath a try, since i already have what is needed in the house.

Warm up the oil. Prepared the herbal mix for cleaning later.
The thick oil does not spread on the skin easily, it takes just a little more time.
I excluded my hair, I'm not ready for it yet.

Wait for 15 mins.
( I practically remain standing and walking around in the room. )

Ah! Time to wash!

Warm water shower using the herbal mix.
Clean & scrub the bathroom floor as the herbal mix was splattered everywhere.
( and got stuck on the tiles)

How do i feel?
My skin feels good though, soft and smooth.

Do i feel tired?
Yes, a little.
But am not sure was it the direct
effect from the castor oil bath, or from too much washing after the oil bath... or maybe, its my nap time!

For a regular oil bath, i will still prefer using coconut oil.
For a once-in-a-blue-moon oil bath, i will go for castor oil!

[ > ] [ II ] [ > ]

  Happy to be back in Mysore, as always:)

Weather is getting more cooling; taking my time to daze off & people watch;

And Uber ride is everywhere!

 

[ > ] [ II ]  [ > ]

I didn’t feel as relax as my previous trips; rather I feel more grounded than before. 

My mind is still hyperactive, body filled up with accumulated tension and my patience wasn’t too ready to be patient.

But I have to say; I am enjoying quality sleep, without having to battle with the alarm clock at least!

 My current read: [Un- Train Your Brain] by Mike Weeks. 

Last night, flipping through pages, he highlighted a question

[What’s so good about being right all the time?]

I stopped at this page and ponder for a while… maybe not a while, overnight.

Putting this idea into context, haven’t we been around with people,

Constantly trying to be right about everything?

It is a social standard.

It is a security driven statement.

It is narcissistic.

It is a full- stop.

It is a denial.

It is rigidity.

Of course, I do catch myself in situations and debates of trying to be right, just for the sake of saving my ego. And thinking back, it was just so silly!

So then, what’s NOT so good about being right all the time?

Well…. Self- limitation kicks in.

We become less willing to understand or check out other options. We stop to discover alternatives & new ideas.

And this, by shutting the door of being right, it is already a losing game.

Sometimes, it is good to [pause] for a while, just to understand how our      

“ Responsive mechanic” works inside us.

And maybe, we get to discover better ideas than just being right?

What if... no one came?

What if no one came?

What if just one student turned up?

" What would you do?"

Would you cancel the class and send that one student who appeared at the door away?

Would you continue the the class as usual?

Are you going to feel upset & pathetic about the situation for the empty space?

Or decide to be happy and focus on that one who make that effort to appear?

Maybe you will get frustrated about those who didn't put the practice as top priority?

Maybe you can understand and respect everyone's priority in life at a moment is personal? 

" Investing energy on those who show up. Those who didn't, don't matter. "

  

I do learn my own ways of doing things through many many ups & downs. 

Gaining that immunity to teach the way i intended to regardless of situation.

"Everything in Equanimity ", I always keep this in mind, in attitude.  

Full house or empty room, the door is still open, I will still be at the same place, doing my thing.

 

 

The alarm clock inside went off--- i decided to ( stop snoozing) wake up.

I've been known as " the old soul" for the longest time that i know; among friends and peers.
And i often have to remind myself that I'm not that old!
I'm just being more reflective:)

I am convinced that everyone has an alarm clock inside us.
Mine went off just a little earlier and louder.

When it rings--- we either snooze it, or we wake up and move. I knew exactly who I was before my alarm went off.
I knew that  girl, who hated homework and tuition;
who loved to day dream and watch time passes everyday;
who was frustrated trying to understand numbers and formulas;
who look forward to school only to be with friends;
who enjoyed so much but work so little... ...

Until the alarm rang, one day. So loudly that i got a shocked and woke up since.
Somehow, I didn't want to play my time away, anymore.
Somehow, I wanted to explore the potential I see in myself.
Somehow, I really had enough of how bad others ( myself)  had made me felt.
Somehow, i told myself that I can be better.

People around you are going to doubt you. They are going to test you. All the time, anytime.
Friends, peers and even family.

To me, those doubts are distractions and chatters.
If we give too much attention to them, our intention and focus will be diluted in no time.

We cannot control what they want to say about us.
I cannot control how i feel about them. 
They cannot control how we feel about ourselves. 

I heard my alarm. They didn't.
Till they heard theirs. We will meet again.

 I was the girl who chose to ignore the alarm, and snooze on.
I can totally understand why i did that, and why i continue to snooze.

I am the same person, who got a shocked and decided to response to the alarm by waking up.
I can totally understand why i did this, and why i continue to be awake. 

The alarm clock inside went off--- i decided to ( stop snoozing) wake up.

I've been known as " the old soul" for the longest time that i know; among friends and peers.
And i often have to remind myself that I'm not that old!
I'm just being more reflective:)

I am convinced that everyone has an alarm clock inside us.

When it rings--- we either snooze it, or we wake up and move. I knew exactly who I was before my alarm went off.
I knew that  girl, who hated homework and tuition;
who loved to day dream and watch time passes everyday;
who was frustrated trying to understand numbers and formulas;
who look forward to school only to be with friends;
who enjoyed so much but work so little... ...

Until the alarm rang, one day. So loudly that i got a shocked and woke up since.
Somehow, I didn't want to play my time away, anymore.
Somehow, I wanted to explore the potential I see in myself.
Somehow, I really had enough of how bad others ( myself)  had made me felt.
Somehow, i told myself that I can be better.

People around you are going to doubt you. They are going to test you. All the time, anytime.
Friends, peers and even family.

To me, those doubts are distractions and chatters.
If we give too much attention to them, our intention and focus will be diluted in no time.

We cannot control what they want to say about us.
I cannot control how i feel about them. 
They cannot control how we feel about ourselves. 

I heard my alarm. They didn't.
Till they heard theirs. We will meet again.

 I was the girl who chose to ignore the alarm, and snooze on.
I can totally understand why i did that, and why i continue to snooze.

I am the same person, who got a shocked and decided to response to the alarm by waking up.
I can totally understand why i did this, and why i continue to be awake. 

Are you that demanding freak too?

It has indeed been a long while since my last blog post. 
Been busy, most importantly enriching too. 

Every yoga class is like a mind battlefield to me--- of course not forgetting the ample opportunities for me to understand about one another.

Investing more time learning under the belt of my teacher, he who loves to flip ideas, perceptions & traditions. Loads of information in need of digestion. 

" Patience". That's what he always say. 

It is way easy to demand. 

But how about letting go?
Loosening the grip?
Closing one eye and give it a pass?

 In today's society, we are spoiled brats & the pampered royals.
We, who are unconsciously wired to think that the world has to compromise to our worlds.

If we want to demand, there are thousands of dissatisfaction we can pick on.
We will always be looking for faults, imperfection, the chipped corner, the hairline crack... anything.

Go to the market, pick up the first orange. What do you look at?
Go to the florist, you pick up a rose. What do you look for?
Go meet a friend, on the first conversation. What do you talk about?

For the past years, i caught myself red-handed too quick to demand and drop complaints.
But when it comes to giving compliments,  i would take forever. 

Honestly, when i realized my own behavior, i didn't like it.
I didn't like how i jumped into conclusion without taking any effort to understand.

I stopped.
I stop myself rushing into my tenancy. And i decided to reverse.

I decided to make an effort to take note of the service people who had done well;
Remember their names and write in compliment notes via social media.

I decided to be that customer who will go to them, look at them and tell them " thank you".
I want to be that patron who will try to first understand when things didn't go too well, and then feedback.

A smile always work better than a frown.
A compliment always work better than a complaint. 
An act of love always win an act of ego. 

Why not do it different, do it better?

Are you that demanding freak too?

It has indeed been a long while since my last blog post. 
Been busy, most importantly enriching too. 

Every yoga class is like a mind battlefield to me--- of course not forgetting the ample opportunities for me to understand about one another.

Investing more time learning under the belt of my teacher, he whole loves to flip ideas, perceptions & tradition. Loads of information in need of digestion. 

" Patience". That's what he always say. 

It is way easy to demand. 

But how about letting go?
Loosening the grip?
Closing one eye and give it a pass?

 In today's society, we are spoiled brats & the pampered royals.
We, who are unconsciously wired to think that the world has to compromise to our worlds.

If we want to demand, there are thousands of dissatisfaction we can pick on.
We will always be looking for faults, imperfection, the chipped corner, the hairline crack... anything.

Go to the market, pick up the first orange. What do you look at?
Go to the florist, you pick up a rose. What do you look for?
Go meet a friend, on the first conversation. What do you talk about?

For the past years, i caught myself red-handed too quick to demand and drop complaints.
But when it comes to giving compliments,  i would take forever. 

Honestly, when i realized my own behavior, i didn't like it.
I didn't like how i jumped into conclusion without taking any effort to understand.

I stopped.
I stop myself rushing into my tenancy. And i decided to reverse.

I decided to make an effort to take note of the service people who had done well;
Remember their names and write in compliment notes via social media.

I decided to be that customer who will go to them, look at them and tell them " thank you".
I want to be that patron who will try to first understand when things didn't go too well, and then feedback.

A smile always work better than a frown.
A compliment always work better than a complaint. 
An act of love always win an act of ego. 

Why not do it different, do it better?

10 years ago, i didn't know.

Looking back at myself a decade ago, 

i then realized how much i don't understand about me, 

about life.

10 years ago i didn't know,

i didn't know a lot.

I didn't know

Ideals are like fairy tales,

The more we fantasize, the further we are.

Youth makes me felt like I'm invincible,

Yet as time flow by without batting an eye,

I'm nothing but a speck of dust on this earth.

First love felt so sweet & fluffy like cotton candy,

Heartbreaks literally made me gasped to stay alive,

The pain was so real that I was not ready to take it.

Saying Yes to everything made everyone happy, but me.

Articulated my first No was the best thing i did for myself. 

Not feeling guilty ever. 

Some friendships could actually be broken off regardless of years,

Some friendships could dive so deep so quickly regardless of years. 

Whatever decision i make, 

Anyone would always have something to comment.

Damn if i do, damn if i not

I will just do it anyway. 

I cannot change the world i hope for,

But i can change the way i perceived,

I be the change. 

This girl once lazy & fat,

who were lucky enough to received both doubts & supports,

who surprises herself for the amount of effort

she never knew she could give.

Number is not just a number, 

Getting old is kind of scary.

But getting old without growing

is scarier. 

10 years later from today,

I would realized,

there are so much more i didn't understand

about me, about life.

Knowing Your Worth !

Came across this interesting story recently...

A professor started his lecture take a $20 note from his back pocket and he asked, 
" How many of you would like this note?"

Hands started going up. 

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the $20 note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" 
Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the
ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. 

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. 
It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. 

We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. 

We either get devalued by our own insecurities & self-doubts or by the opinions of others.

 

But none of these are necessary.
None of these is going to propel us to move forward.

During our usual meeting after class, my teacher pointed " If you truly know what you are doing, that you are good, you don't have to be in the mercy of others.'

I remember the days when teaching yoga in corporate sectors was challenging for me. I was heavily judged:

- Too young ( i started at 23) CHECKED
- Too little experience CHECKED
- Too expensive CHECKED
- Unacceptable outfit ( slippers) CHECKED
- Bosses & Top management too important CHECKED

Noted.

There was one interesting incident that taught me well.

A yoga-related lunch-time workshop for a company.

The lady who liaised with passed down all judgements * from the above list * at one shot over a brief meeting.

" They are all our top management and bosses. Very important people. Please don't screw up."
" Please wear something that cover the feet, its not very appropriate to have slippers in this building." 

She noted.
 I smiled.

" Will you be joining the class too?" I asked.
" Oh~ no, no."

The following day, i appeared in the class in my usual slippers.
Smiling my way through some rolled-eyes.

The class started with all well dressed-up ladies & gentlemen.

And ended with shoes & socks off, ties off, unbuttoned collars, rolled up sleeves, watches off,  loosen belts, relaxed shoulders and lots of laughter.

The bosses were happy, i was happy & the lady was happy.

So i thought, how was the worrisome before even necessary?

Thankful to that particular day, ( that i would never forget) that i received a great lesson for myself..

People can pass judgements easily on us, that doesn't matter much at all.
More importantly is, what kind judgement are we passing upon ourselves?






 
 

If you can't get what you love. You learn to love the things you've got :)

Well if you can't get what you love
You learn to love the things you've got
 

If you can't be what you want
You learn to be the things you're not
 

If you can't get what you need
You learn to need the things that stop you dreaming
 

All the things that stop you dreaming

~ Mike Rosenberg

On a bus ride to class this morning, i am among many others commuters heading to start our day. 

Everyone seems to be tired & sleepy. Everybody got up the bus, and found a seat and settle in quietly.
I plugged on the ear piece and got into my playlist on Spotify.

ah~ that was all i need in any morning before class.  

This music came along. I thought a little.

Many things we wish it happen, but it didn't.

Many things we hope it don't happen, but it did.

So, what do we do?

I always believe the idea of being appreciative of what we have & what we don't. 

We can never almost possess anything, not even ourselves.

Always at one point, if we didn't learn how to set things free; what need to go will just dissolves in front of us. Or we will have to learn it through pain. 

Love what you do and do what you love.  

In life, there are many things we may not totally love doing.
 

In the bus i was on this morning, i counted my blessing for looking forward to class and the students. I'm even a little excited every time thinking about the things i planned to work with them on the mat.

To many others may be just another day getting to work, going through the routine, having to feed families and raise kids.

For this, i totally respect them for what they are getting up early for---  for putting their comfort aside and provide for their loved ones.

Realistically, there are way too many things in life we have no control over. 

But we can always choose how we feel, our attitude and how we choose to manage.

Yeah, that much we can do. That can already make a huge difference to our own little world!

We can be happy seeing the sun rise or upset when the sun sets. 

Don't forget, in the dark sky, there are still the moon and twinkling stars!

Want to check out this song that i listen this morning? 

Check it out here: Things Stop You Dreaming~ Passenger

Enjoy!

On the last day of 2015, i just want to say...

 THANK YOU.

for all that had been received & all that had been given.

for all that i wanted & all that i don't want. 

for all the likes & dislikes.

for all the pleasures & pain.

for all the ups & downs.

for all the light & darkness.

for all the sweet & bitter.

for everything that had happened to me.

 I am as excited about 2016 as i was for 2015. 

What lies ahead is planned yet unknown. 

Like how those clouds taking shape constantly 

because of the wind. 

Watching them, we can fit in our imagination on them,

free & wildly.

Who is to judge, except us?

Just be playful & foolish happily!

It is never too late or too soon.

It is when it supposed to be. 

~ Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

H A P P Y  N E W Y E A R 2 0 1 6 

F R I E N D S :)

 

I don't fancy C2H5OH. I am not sorry.

We are all smelling x'ams-sy, aren't we?
Presents, parties, hugs, laughter, drinkings... 

At this time of the year, friends around me get a chance to know me better on just ONE thing:
I don't fancy alcohol. I can't handle it.

In most time, i have to be up early the next day... a hangover yoga class--- Bad idea.  

If i do drink, it probably means i trust the people around me very much.

And I don't feel sorry about that at all:)

Most of my friends can handle alcohol very well.
I totally do envy them for the ability to manage the effect.

One year, I was celebrating my X'mas in India. We went to a club in Bangalore.
We ordered drinks and i wanted a fruit juice. I got stared by a friend.

 " What?! How on earth are you going to enjoy on the dance floor if you don't drink?"

I smiled.

I thought.

" Not necessary. I can enjoy better when I am clear headed."

In fact, the smell of alcoholic drinks reminds me of nail polish--- It almost feels like I'm sipping a glass of O.P.I --- hmmm... i prefer to have it on my nails:)

Initially, most friends felt more uncomfortable than me for not fitting in.
Very glad for me, that they have gotten used & respected my choices all the time.

 You have your beers and shots, i have my juice and coffee. No problem! :)

To all my dearest friends, I appreciate the respect, support and enjoyment you all had shared with me all these years. 

Many more happy time to come!

Cheers!

A LOVESHINES trip to Siem Reap, Cambodia 2015

 " The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We can never unseen something that had been seen.

My recent trip to Siem Reap with LoveShines had really made me think these days.
Though it was not my first time, I'd seen a fair share of slump areas and families living in extreme conditions during multiple trips to India.

Having most of my time living in a city, one can never get used to seeing people living literally having close to nothing.

Once, i stood in front of a house from a distance. I could already see everything inside. I could even count how many items were in there--- not more than 3.

So many times, i asked myself " How, how on earth can anyone live with so little and still carefree?"
I almost felt bad having so much back home, too much-- and hardly anyone is happy.

Why?

Photo credit: Darren Lim

Its a great reminder that there is no comparison of lives--- this is indeed a great wake up call for us who is trap in #firstworldproblem.

Scarcity and Abundance is just a flip of perception of life.
How much effort of self-inquiry throughout our lives we need, in hope to gain a little more knowledge and wisdom--- we need so little to be content and happy.

This trip, instead of saying they benefited from us;
Rather, we had received so much more from them :)